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Friday, January 30, 2004


Today...

...I am feeling so low, so sad, so frustrated, so scared. I was almost on the verge of tears while on my way to the office. Why do things turn they way they are, far from what you want, what you expect? To think, you only mean the best of intentions. People do not even understand you; that you only want the best for them. Oh, maybe it was because I was never good enough in saying the right words OR maybe, I was just plain not good enough for them. I just wanted to make them safe and happy.

A lot of scenarios are popping up in my head. Thoughts that leave me wondering and scared. If only I can predict the future then maybe, I will know what to do and stop from getting hurt. People said it is better to feel pain because it makes you human. Because being human makes you feel happy, too. But pain is too hard to bear. It breaks you apart, ruins your self-esteem. Something I cannot give up, for it is the block that makes me go on with my life.

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It is always refreshing to know what is in your mind. Thanks!