Doubts

Dear Me,

I am having doubts of joining the Mt. Apo climb. It is not because I am doubting my physical capability. I am sort of physically preparing for it and my mind is already set that I can make it.

It is just that I want it to be an experience, lacking of the bad vibes and emotions I am feeling and fighting right now.

So when did everything start? It was way back the day I came to know that 'predator' (please don't even bother asking me). Predator was so loud that I would love to kick predator's a** down the trail. Then, predator was out.

Somebody replaced predator in the picture.

'Cheepo' didn't know that I began to hate cheepo's guts that one time. I saw something and like that song... "It's all coming back to me now..." - my mind began to weave threads of vision that were once harmless. The thought of cheepo's presence irked me no end. Cheepo made me cry every night.

Yes, I am getting insecure over our relationship. That, I am willing to admit. Lately, we have been fighting. He doesn't make me feel secure about our relationship and even though he tries to, it just doesn't sound sincere. He treats every fight like it's nothing significant.

Am I asking too much? We have been together for more than three (3) years and I can't see the road further ahead.

Among other things, this is just one small thing that bugs me crazy.