Tuesday, July 1, 2003

2:14 in the early hours of the mawning!

Darn! I cannot sleep. Actually, I arrived home at 10 in the evening and went straight to bed. I had a good 2 hours of peaceful slumber but was cut short by this unwanted dream. In fact, I cannot even remember what dream it was. I tried so hard to recall it but I cannot seem to fathom the message it was trying to relay. *hmm* So much for thinking hard. I just decided to check my emails since I was not able to do so this mawning.

Well, I was also counter-checking my planner for future schedules. Most of the schedules are geared on sporty stuff, exe - mountainclimbing or the right word for it, is trekking. I really have no plans of trekking out during the rainy months. I prefer it sunny and hot, not wet and muddy. My friend
Zoe texted me this afternoon if I can drop by during their pre-climb meeting tomorrow {later tonite actually} at a coffeeshop somewhere in Makati. Oh well, they will be climbing Mt. Manabuthis coming weekend. If I wasn't mistaken, it was also last week that they had river trekking in Bagsit, Zambales.

Dex and his other friends outside SPI, {met one of them - Richard} are also planning to climb this weekend in Tarak Ridge. He asked me to join but I am not really up to climbing this month since I went climbing already 2 weeks back. If August will not give a heavenly shower, I will probably climb. September, much better.

MMS is also "advertising" open climbs. No definite skeds yet. I saw Em posting if there are future open climbs and even asking if he can bring on 20 friends. Hehehe! =) I replied back if I am included in the 20 already. Em is one of the guys I met in my last climb in Pico de Loro 2 weeks ago. The leader of the band.


Backward Recall...

Work was not so much of a hassle. I was able to finish some research work but I still have some pending tasks to polish tomorrow. Late this afternoon {make it yesterday afternoon since it is almost a new day}, a senior economist from our Bangkok Office arrived in Manila. I was introduced to him since I will be accompanying him the following day to government agencies for conducting research on CEPT. [Darn! I haven't studied anything yet about that subject.]


Somebody texted me unceremoniously late this afternoon. This friend of mine wanted me to meet with him. I wonder why. I had to attend to something so I cannot go and see him out. I offered Tuesday and the other days but he was fully-booked [he said so]. I asked him if he has a problem or anything that bothers him but all I got was a syllabic yes, no, no problem. It made me feel so guilty not to help him. He has been a good bud and honestly, a good part of my life.

As much as I had felt guilt for not showing up, I also also felt "rebellion" {whatever I may prefer to call it}. Why does he always to do this?! {"This" here is something which I prefer to keep for myself.} It also hurts me to always feel that he turns me away from him, like he wants me to go away. I am not so sure if he really doesn't want me around but I wish he would rather tell me straight than me wondering why the hell was he treating me that way. You will soon be far away and I guess, probably, you will be happy not to see me ever. I wish you luck.

I do not know if you know me that much but I tell you, I hate goodbyes. It makes me cry.