Senator Enrile says...

"They want us to delete that portion showing the electric bill. And replace it with what - a water bill?"

Mejo natawa ko dito eh. Eto kasi yung hirit ni Senator Juan Ponce Enrile, a re-electionist senator regarding ABS-CBN's condition for running his campaign ad. Meralco is a sister company of the well-known network. If you are reading the papers, you will know the connection of what I am blabbing about. =)


BOLD Resignation...

This was funny as hell...

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA to
her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an
intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and myself during the
commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a
waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I
know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to
provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth
time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why
people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though
I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk
around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You
have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your
interview, but now that you actually have responsibility,you pawn it off on
overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring
ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green
algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad
proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full
frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I
have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you
to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I
prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next
couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to
do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get
cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently
saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that
terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.


3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mothers
birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of
yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the
techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd
acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and
kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of
recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct
your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.

Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you
do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

Cecilia

This is the funniest resignation letter I had ever read...=)