Contradicting Emotions

I am hanging again in a bridge wherein one wrong slip of a grasp will send me spiraling down to a more complicated situation. But this time, what is at stake is far more important than what surrounds me: my self-respect.

For a while, my fears had stopped bugging me; for a while, my worries were silenced by verbal assurances. For a while, I wanted to believe. And I did.

But they all came back again, tumbling one after the other. It scares all the more because my conviction is being shrouded with this fear. I feel helpless. I want to spit it all out but I can’t. I cannot bring myself to do so for fear of being laughed at.

I am overwhelmed by these emotions and to tell you the truth, I don’t know where to turn to.