Friday, August 27, 2004


When the old people I used to know in my younger life popped out from nowhere, all they say was: “hey, you have changed a lot!”

Sometimes, I wonder if I really did or was it because they never took out the time to know me at all. You see, I was a shy girl then, not because I really was but more because of the fact that I suffered from the usual youngsters’ inferiority complex. I never looked great physically and was tongue-tied for fear of being jeered at. Boys my age had the greatest time of their lives, taunting me. I was such a crybaby.

When I reached my teens, some of the bunch of jokes boys used to throw at me lessened. Not because my physical outlook improved but more like, I had the brains to flaunt with. Respect from the boys was never asked for, it was given freely. So the much-abused what-is-beauty-if-the-brain-is-empty motto really worked at that time.

When these people from my innocent life materialized out of the blue, I could not help but think that my ears were literally doing a flip-flap act, as if they have wings. The words that came out from their mouths were music to my ears. I was flattered. Honestly, I was. Even from those I considered my mortal enemies (the boys), their words seemed so sweet.

But now, I get tired of it. Doubts clouded my mind whether it was spoken with sincerity. Of course, I was not really expecting anyone to tell me how beautiful or how smart I am, for I am really not. I am not that vain, in that sense.

Maybe I am being perceived again to be of use for a gainful purpose. No person on earth would even like that.

And here, I rest my case.

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It is always refreshing to know what is in your mind. Thanks!