Like A Virus That She Was

She felt dejected.

She felt betrayed.

Tried to understand but her emotions could not.
Her rational self tried to reason out but she
still found it unacceptable.

She asked herself many times why he did that.
Why? Why?

She wondered, all the time.
Did those things happen by coincidence
or was it some intended aberration?

They planned things and plans turned to reality.
They had fun. It was supposed to be fun...
for a long time as it took but...

he decided to have another plan and
spend it with a crowd.
Maybe she was supposed to join
but he knew then that she could not.

Sometimes, he planned things with other faces;
just before their plan materialized.

She wondered why he did those things
before and after their plans.
Her mind tried to rationalized why
and her emotions were of gloom and distress.

Is she making sense here?
Sometimes she finds it hard to talk about things,
to say them as she thinks of them.
It bothers her
but she just does not have the might
to spill out her guts.