Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Memory Of A Lost Love

Dear Me,

I could not help but post the article below. Re-reading it brought some bittersweet memories of my past. I guess LOVE made me "breathless and hurt, inspired and furious, affectionate and listless"...

In fact, LOVE taught me lots of things and yes, it made me a little less proud and indifferent.

I Love You

So maybe what we had was love. Maybe I loved you, and I hope to heavens that you loved me back: even just for a split second when we held hands, or during that moment when I looked into your eyes, or the time when I laughed at one of your silly quirks. I'd be content with that idea, I'd be content that in the course of our friendship, there was a moment of mutuality; even if it was so quick I never noticed it all.

Perhaps I still do love you, but that won't do much now. I can fight to save everything that I've invested, but I chose not to. I have treasured you in the past, and that will be enough. Right now, all I can do is wish you well in all your endeavors, including the pursuit for the one who is right for you. When you find him, I wish he makes you happy. You make him happy as well.

The end is only a beginning disguised as a parting. I will still think about you every now and then, probably be sad once in a while, but you need not to worry. For I am okay and I will be okay under all circumstances. It may take time for me to love again, but in the long run, it will be all worth it. I may still risk myself, but every risk in its own respect is worth taking anyway. Love is such a convoluted mixture of emotions and decisions that it's a matter of working your way through it.

Thank you for gracing my life like a whirlwind, leaving me breathless and hurt, inspired and furious, affectionate and listless. You've taught me quite a lot and I learned them in the most humbling manner. Thank you for showing me what it means to be human, to commit mistakes, and to discover how to regain yourself after everything that had happened.

Like what I always say, Ad astra per aspera. A rough road leads to the stars. I'm on my way to becoming stellar.


  1. this reminds me of someone who ive hurt, i didnt meant to but i cant stop him from loving me and he knew that i have someone else...i wish i could ease his pain, after all he's been so kind to me...

  2. dyen, I know what you feel.
    There are really a few guys out there who will love you
    no matter what you do to them.
    It may sound, look and feel unfair but it will be most painful
    if you keep them under false pretenses.
    They deserve better.


It is always refreshing to know what is in your mind. Thanks!