Thursday Thirteen #18

Dear Me,

In relation to this recent entry, I want to share a good laugh with everyone. Here are some dumb but funny lines from the old man himself, Homer Simpson.


graphic courtesy of Kelly @ Diary of the Nello

Thirteen Funny Lines from Homer Simpson

1. To Start, Press Any Key. Where's the ANY key?
   
   
2. Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
   
   
3. Dear Lord...The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
   
   
4. But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
   
   
5. If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
   
   
6. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, everytime I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
   
   
7. When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
   
   
8. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
   
   
9. You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
   
   
10. I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
    
    
11. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
    
    
12. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
    
    
13. Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. damozel
2. Emmyrose
3. kailani
4. Lori

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