Lavender & Coffee Stains

Something I have read from Somewhere...

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a
loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was
around two years old, one morning the husband saw medicine bottle open.
He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it
in the cupboard. The mother, pre-occupied in the kitchen totally forgot
the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated
with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine
meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother
hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She
was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came
to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and
uttered just four words.


QUESTIONS:

1. What were the four words?

2. What is the implication of this story?



ANSWER: The husband just said "I Love You Darling."



The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The
child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point
in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to
keep the bottle away, this will not happen. No point to blame. She had
also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation
and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would
be much fewer problems in the world.

To be happy with a man you must
understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must
understand her a lot and love her with
all your heart.

I love the last 2 paragraphs...

What's the point...

Hindi ko alam kung may kwenta ba na mag-subscribe sa group na iyon. Kaya lang naman ako ng nag-subscribe eh dahil sa alam kong informative at talagang may matutunan ako sa pagtanggap ng mga mensahe mula sa kanila.

Kabaligtaran pala ang nangyayari. Nagiging venue na siya para manira ng tao, makipag-away dahil hindi nagustuhan ng isa ang sinabi. Lalo pa akong nabuwisit dahil parang pinalalaki pa ang isyu na maaari namang ayusin o bigyan ng suggestions. Yung iba naman, wala na talagang sense ang sinasabi, nanggugulo pa. Minsan naiisip ko tuloy na ang ibang mga umaakyat na tinatawag nila "mountaineer" ang sarili, eh mas puno pa ng kayabangan at angas ang katawan. Eto na naman. Baka may humirit pa at biglang i-define sa akin ang meaning ng salitang iyon. Talagang kukunsultahin pa ang iba't ibang talatinigan para lang bigyan ito ng kahulugan. Hahay.

Pati ang pagpapadala ng grupo sa Bundok Everest eh tinitira ng iba. Wala ka na bang magawa? Just for the sake of arguing with other people, kahit wala ng sense ang hirit mo, magsasalita ka pa rin. Bakit hindi mo na lang suportahan? tutal, atin din naman yon. Kung ano mang karangalan ang ibigay nila sa Pilipinas, karangalan mo rin yon. Ang failure nila, failure mo rin. Depende na nga lang siguro yon kung may paki ka. Tinanong ka nung isa kung kalahi ka namin, sabi mo oo. Nakakahiya ka. Manahimik ka na lang kung wala kang masabing may kwenta. Gets mo?!

Peyups Info...

A breather. I got this from the Friendster Bulletin Board as posted by tukayo Franz.

1. student number?
---> 95-21982

2. college?
---> College of Arts & Sciences

3. nag-shift ka ba/na-kick-out? from what to what college?
---> On both accounts, never.
But I had plans to shift on my sophomore year since
my slot for PT was already opened or
transfer to Diliman to pursue Journalism. =)

4. saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
---> UP Diliman at the newly-constructed (at that time) Math Building

5. favorite GE subject?
---> Philosophy 11 & 101, NatSci II

6. favorite PE?
---> Bowling

7. name your 4 PEs.
---> Bowling, Physical Fitness, Social Dance, Modern Jazz
and I am what you may call "saling-pusa" sa Fencing class

8. favorite prof.
---> Sir Ariel of my Philo classes and
Ma'am Almeda of my Labor Economics class

9. pinaka-sikat na prof.
---> Dr. Villegas, my professor in my major subjects

10. pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
---> Socio 101. Pamatay ang prof ko

11. nagkaron ka ba class ng saturday?
---> Yup. Math subjects

12. nakapag-field trip ka ba?
---> Yup. Mt Banahaw for my History I subject

13. ilang units na-drop mo?
---> Never did

14. ilang units binagsak mo?
---> Nada.


***UP LIFE***

1. orgs/frats/soros?
---> Too many to mention

2. tambayan.
---> 4 faves - CB org tambayan, Pahinungod Office,
Oblation Circle, fave cubicle at the UP CAS Library

3. dorm, boarding house, o bahay?
---> bahay

4. nakapag-inom ka ba sa APEC?
---> inom? APEC? APEC as in the econ cooperation???

5. paboritong fishball?
---> chix ball lang ako sa UP DIliman

6. me suki ka bang bananaQ vendor?
---> Wala. Squidball vendor, meron

7. paboritong isawan?
---> wala

8. nakapanood ka ba sa Agrix Cinema?
---> Nope

9. first play na napanood mo sa UP?
---> Forgot the title but I remember it was by Anton Chekhov.
I love this guy.

10. nakapag-date ka ba sa field?
--->*hmm*

11. thai pavillion?
---> nope

12. name the most coño org in UP.
---> I won't name them baka ma-ban ako *lolz*

13. magbigay na org in UP na sa tingin mo ay ikaw lang, aside from the members, ang may alam:
---> Trying to trick me, are you? Save your butt, buddy =)

14. name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP
---> I will just name one - UP Oblation Corps

15. nagpupunta ka ba sa febfair?
---> Did twice, I think

16. ano pinakagusto mong gawin sa FebFair?
---> jamming, boy-watching with my friends...

17. may frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
---> A number of them, yes

18. saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
--->"Robinson's University", Henry's, McDo along Padre Faura (wala na ngayon eh)

19. masaya ba sa UP?
---> Super. I felt sad when I graduated...
Kaka-miss. Hahay.


***PULITIKA***
1. nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
---> Yes, I had a good share of them

2. tibak ka ba?
---> Not to the core but I share some ideologies

3. ilang beses ka bumoto sa student council?
---> Twice

4. nakipagtalo ka na ba sa prof mo about politics?
---> A couple of times

5. nakita mo na bang tumakbo si fr. robert reyes?
---> On the boobtube and on print

6. name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
---> I'd rather not

7. sino ang student coucil chair nung freshie ka
---> I forgot his name but I remember he was a Biology Student,
an upperclassman and crush ng classmate ko =)


***FIRST TIME***

1. sinamahan ka ba ng parent/s mo nang mag-enrol ka nung freshie?
---> Hehehe. Hell, yes!
I was shy that time. Look what UP did to me now. *wink*

2. nagtaka ka ba kung saan ang TBA?
---> More like, who is TBA? No professor's name was listed

3. sino first ever nakilala mo sa UP?
---> Si Spike, met him in the CAS library.
He found the book I was looking for.

4. magkakilala pa rin kayo hanggang ngayon?
---> Yeah. He is a "silent" friend.
Just pops up when you need him. Regret that he is now
in the US. Miss ko na nga ang mokong eh.

5. ano first ever class na pinasukan mo sa UP?
---> I have forgotten...hahaha.

6. best clothes mo ba ang suot mo n'ung first day ng classes mo?
---> Anak ng tokwa. School yun papasukan ko,
ende work interview noh =)

7. umatend ka ba ng freshmen night?
---> Honest, ende ko na rin ma-recall

8. pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
---> I think I did but it didn't matter na din afterwards.
Though, I have regrets.

9. e nung graduating ka na?
---> Yeah, because a mere zero point something would have
made me walk the stage to get the "prestige"... *lolz*
Kung alam ko lang...hahaha.


***LOVELYF UP***

1.nagka-bf/gf ka ba sa UP?
---> Wala

2.kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
---> Teka, bilangin ko muna...*hmm*
3 lang sila pero passing lang.
Sige, siguro si Diobert =)

3.ikaw ba ay na-devirginize sa UP?
---> De-virginize relating to life & personality perspective,
I think so.

4.ilang beses ka nambasted/dineadma ng crush mo?
---> Prefer not to answer the question. Hehehe.

5. generally, me lovelyf k b sa UP?
---> Generally, hindi ko alam ang salitang yon...hahaha.
Di ba, Ritz and Haze? =)

Bad Trip...

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

How LOVE can be so endearing...

Before I met Dex, I had come to the conclusion that LOVE really, is such a great prick in the ass. I knew I had once fallen in love before him and when I thought it was such a great thing, my world started to crumble.

I have been a cynic even before I started threading the paths of accepting courtships from the opposite sex. The experiences of my lady friends and how they dwell on their so-called "ruined" (that's how they call it) lives, had left a very heavy imprint in this knowing mind of mine. And so, I began to adopt such attitude and perception about this mushy emotion.

But then, LIFE has its own way of teaching us and untangling the complicated threads of our viewpoints. Someone came along and has served LIFE its purpose. He untied all the intertwining lines of pain and heartaches. All I can remember from the time my heart was badly broken in pieces till the time he popped up into my life was that I kept an open mind and let my heart run free. Even that act had surprised me, considering the path I had been through.

Anyway, I was reading this email sent by Bing. It was such a god read that gave me shivers running down my spine. Not of a scare but something that reminds me of experiences and emotions that run parallel to mine a few years back.

One may never forget the past but forgiving will erase the pain that has left a dent in one's heart. Opening up one's mind into this painful reality will make LIFE more bearable no matter how agonizing the throbbing will be. I think that's how LIFE and LOVE teach us.


It's almost 8pm and my stomach is already screaming for food. It's a
Saturday night and eating dinner alone isn't exactly an interesting
idea. I have to admit that being single and loveless sometimes
sucks. This is one of those moments where I wish I had someone I could
just grab to dinner with. Therefore, I have no other choice but to go to
my favorite restaurant and have my fill. After ordering my favorite
Caesar's Salad and Chicken Alexander, I noticed an old couple who just came
in. They are dressed rather formally as if this ordinary Saturday night
calls for such. Though quite thin, the old man still has that stature full
of male aura as if he is 40 years younger. He has his right arm wrapped
naturally around the shoulder of his wife. The old woman may have lost the
glamour and beauty she once had in her younger years, but she has that
smile on her face I could never forget. This is the actual scene as I
first saw them.

As if destined for me to meet this old couple, the restaurant happens to be
full at that time, and being alone, they came directly to my table and
asked if they could share it with me. But of course! This is better than
being alone. I just wish these two are still coherent and I wouldn't have
to put up with stories of the World War 2 and how they undyingly waited for
each other. Gosh! I didn't want to have a scrappy love story s my side dish!

So I sat there silently pretending to be texting. I never had the chance
to be close with my grandma and grandpa so I am not so comfortable with the
oldies. They started talking about some guy named Jake. He is probably
their son who's going to pick them up later. They immediately gave their
orders, making side comments about the food and giggling over some silly
joke they only understand. How very natural for both of them to be still
enjoying each other's company. I sat there envying their exchange.

The old woman talked to me first. Being the woman that she is, she probably
read my mind. She said "I am 68 yeas old and 40years ago, I was also
having dinner alone when I realized that I would be happier living the rest
of my life with somebody I love". And when she said that, she held the
hand of her husband. It was one very unusually striking sentence to have
said to a stranger as if she knew me and why I am lone. After some
introductions on names, work and family, we have serious discussions about
politics and economy. I thought I had some safe topics a hand when
suddenly the old man asked me "How could a smart and beautiful woman like
you be eating alone on a Saturday night?". Bummer. I am asking the same
question myself. Therefore, I get to tell them about my first love gone
astray; how unfaithfulness ruined my three-year relationship and how I have
never fallen in love again.

Then the old couple told me their story:

OLD MAN: Today is our 40th year wedding anniversary. We were married when
we were 28. She wasn't my first love nor I hers. When I fell in love with
her, she was still hook up with her first love then. I taught her to bury
her past. I made her realized that she has to risk loving again or end up
being imprisoned by the wrong notion that true love does not exist. Mr.
Right isn't just going to pop up and save her from her distress. She also
has to open her eyes to find him and be happy again. I knew that I am her
Mr. Right. We led a happy marriage. Even after the first taste of
passionate years ebbed, we still enjoyed each other's company, as we
remained good friends. But like any other marriages, ours is also not a
bed of roses. A highly principled man that I thought I was, I have to
admit that I became unfaithful too and bore a son with another woman. The
mother happens to be my first love.

It broke my heart as I stared into her eyes and her first teardrops fell
when I told her about my son, Jake. I wanted her to scream at me, hit me,
and be angry. She just cried and cried. The following morning, she left
me with our daughter. It was the end of the world for me...

OLD WOMAN: 40 years ago, I made a decision never to fall in love
again. Like you in my teens and early twenties, I once love and lost. We
were a perfect couple then. Until I lost my first love to another
woman. The excruciating pain of lost love and the reality of betrayal has
wounded me deeply. I vowed never to fall in love again. Then my husband
came and offered his undying friendship. Yes! We were very good friends
first before we became lovers. I prayed to God so He will give me a sign
if he is the right man for me. It was a les-than-a-year-romance and we
decided to marry. He taught my heart well... well enough to make me whole
and find real happiness that true love brings. I finally found my Mr.
Right. However, life is not a fairy tale and I have to endure another
episode of broken heart. I thought true love is a force field deflecting
threats. But maybe his love is not enough to keep his sanctified
vow. After 12 years of marriage, I walked out of his life.

Wow! This was only halfway of their story. It was so touching and
heartbreaking... but during the whole time that they were talking, they
kidded with each other, teased each other with their first love and even
pretended to fight. I thought, the story they just shared has made a
lasting impression on each of their lives and made their relationship what
it is now. I can tell that they have been to worst times indeed, as they
came out scarred but beautiful persons. I wanted to go home and cry. I
now wish to grow old with someone I love after all.

We were now eating our desserts. I love the chocolate mouse! Hehehe! So
dying to hear the rest of their story... I asked them how they reconciled-

"We never did." Said the old man.

I was speechless.

The old man continued... "When I heard that my wife got back from the states
after 28 years, I went to see her this morning. An old man saying these
things my sound so "corny" but I told her exactly these: I spent 28 years
of my existence without a life because she is my life. And even when she
left me and never took me back, she still owns my heart until the day that
I will die. Yes, I have been unfaithful because of my lustful
desires. But the loyalty of my true love is solely for her. And though I
can never undo the mistake I have done, I could not force myself to
disengage my love for her. This, I know is true love. Only true love can
survive such death that I feel for 28 years when she was not with me by my
side. Today/tonight, I feel alive because she is with me. I am so happy
when I saw her still wearing our wedding ring as a pendant in her
necklace. This is the first time we have dinner together after she left
me. And you are here to witness it.

The old woman simply said, "I love him too much to be with him again
because if I lost him for the 2nd time, I would not be able to bear
it. For 28 years, I wondered if he married again or not after our
annulment granted. I never asked our daughter. They never talked to me
about him. This morning, I do remember it is our anniversary. But I never
expected to see him or even talked to him. I saw that he is still wearing
our wedding ring. Oh, the old woman's heart jumped! We chatted with each
other the whole day as we used to do in our younger years. We laughed a
lot. We teased each other. We talked about the good times and the odd and
how ugly we became. Age may have taken away our physical attributes but it
cannot steal away the feelings we have for each other.

"Did we regret the past 28 years? We will not be talking about
regrets. Today, we are what we are because of our choices. We cannot
change what happened. But we can always change now and tomorrow..."

And so before we left after 2 hours at Blueberry's, they confidently told
me these: Do call us when you decide to marry and we will be there to
celebrate it with you. Love will find you because your eyes seek for
it. Love will stay with you because your heart willing to give it
away. Choose well and be happy!

What a Saturday night! I came home lighthearted with a new hope.
Love will always find a way...

The story is very nice, right? =)

Why is it...

I have been trying so hard to look alright, to feel alright. People would look at me and say, "hey, you look so happy." Damn! They just do not know.

For the past weeks, I have failed to control the emotional turmoil cooking up inside me. I tried to ignore for I know that this was the same dilemma I had when I was in college. Like before, I knew it would soon come to pass.

I thought things will just happen as they are while I am undergoing this predicament. But no. People who are close to me are getting successful in putting me down. But of course, they do not know it.

I even thought I was getting through "it" for a while. But then, I did not.

Well, as usual, I am left on my own with no one to trust.

Samowar...

I want to go to this place!

I was reading through an online mag and I came across this article. It features the newest chilling place in Malate. (I remember that my party pal, Kerwin lives near the area. I wonder if he has ever visited this cool place).

This is a two-storey building located along Orosa Street and goes by the name Samowar/Abyss. Both a bar and a coffee/tea place.

Quoting from the article: "Abyss, which occupies the ground floor, is a diver's bistro while Samowar on the second floor is the coffee and tea place and what one of the owners of the new bar, Dirk Fahrenbach, calls the "chill out room."

I also read that it formerly used to be a gay bar. Since the end of January, the place has been opened to the public.

Anyway, I am more interested to take a peek into the second floor. It somehow gives me the impression that it can be a place where you can invite friends and have an enjoyable chit-chat and nonstop fun.

To give you an idea, here is a piece of the entire article:

Samowar, the chill-out room on the second floor, has become a fast favorite both among the bar's first-time guests and repeat customers. Understandably so as the room looks comfortable and cozy, its very relaxed ambience making one want to come back again.

Half of the room has an elevated floor that is fully carpeted and strewn with throw pillows of various sizes and colors so guests can comfortably sit on the floor or even lie down -- especially when they've had one drink too many. Two sturdy wooden tables adorned with candles complete the lazy atmosphere effect.

Guests can also hang out at the small balcony on the second floor and check out the scene along Orosa and Nakpil.

The other half of the second floor is filled with chairs and tables of various sizes, creating a mix-and-match artsy look. Framed photos mostly taken at Club Paradise and Coron in Palawan adorn the walls of the chill-out room. On one side is a collection of art photos by German photographer Adam Roszak who also manages the bar.

Mr. Fahrenbach said their plan is to host photo exhibits at Samowar/Abyss and he said professional and aspiring photographers are welcome to put their works on display. Underwater videos by professional and amateur photographers and videographers will also be shown at Samowar/Abyss.

Samowar is derived from the Russian word "samovar" which refers to the urn (usually made of copper, brass or porcelain) with a spigot at its base used to boil water for tea.

Mr. Fahrenbach said he chose the name because a wide selection of tea is available at Samowar/Abyss. "We have around 25 types of tea," he said, explaining that they serve the German tea brand Ronnefeldt, which Mr. Fahrenbach's company also distributes in the Philippines.

Coffee is also available for those who want a night cap or need a caffeine boost to counter the effects of alcohol. Mr. Fahrenbach added that coffee and tea are served in different styles of cups and saucers, so no guest would get the same cup.

For those who prefer alcohol, various local beers are available at between PhP40 to 45 per bottle as well as a selection of wines and cocktail drinks.

For now, Samowar/Abyss's menu is limited to reasonably priced pica-pica like cheese sticks at 60 per plate, fruit platter at PhP120, meat balls at PhP130, pork bratwurst at PhP140 and Hungarian sausage at PhP140 but Mr. Fahrenbach said the plan is to eventually add more choices.

The bar also serves German and Filipino breakfast from 3 to 6 a.m. to cater to those hungry all-night partygoers before they head home. Mr. Fahrenbach noted that the bar has so far been attracting a good crowd for its breakfast specials. He added that the bar usually gets crowded towards midnight when the Malate crowd just starts to heat up.

So I am convinced, ok. I really wanna go there. To entice you more, here are 3 photos courtesy of the article.


The second floor of Samowa/Abyss is the "chill-out" area, with a carpet-covered platform strewn with pillows


Samowar serves 25 types of tea, along with the requisite coffee


The bar also has a souvenir shop selling cute items

Straight from Peyups...

Sabi ko nga bored ako kaya eto kung saan-saang site nagsu-surf. The luxury of having more time nga naman. Hay.

As I was reading on, I came across this. Wala lang. Naisip ko lang na this article would be most likely written by me, based on my experience. Pasintabi lang sa honey ko but mine has a funny ending. Basahin na lang sa dulo nitong article na sinulat ni hnd_k_alm.


Hindi naman ako talagang ganito. Sa aming lahat ng mga kaibigan ko, ako yung bitter. Ako yung anti-mush. Ako daw yung stone cold. Sabi nga nila man hater pa ako. Na-iimagine niyo naman siguro di ba? Pero ewan ko ba, pagdating sa taong ito, kinakain ko lahat ng sinasabi ko. Tanggal bitterness sa katawan ko. Tanggal pagka-peminista ko. Kaya ako nagiging isang malaking contradiction e.

Hindi naman siya guwapo. Actually, di naman talaga ako mahilig sa guwapo. Wala nga akong hinahangaan sa kanya, siguro yung mata niya. Siguro, yung pagiging magaling niya sa drawing and mechanical stuff. Pero, sa tingin ko, hindi yun sapat para magtagal ang kabaliwan ko ng almost four years.

Sabi nila, mabait naman daw yun. Hehe. Oo nga, sa kanila lang. Pagdating sa akin, isa siyang antipatiko! Mabibilang ko kung ilang beses na niya akong sinigawan. E siya yung tipong tahimik lang, mahirit pero hindi loud. Aba, nasigawan ako. E ako naman yung tipong ayaw ng sinisigawan. Matagal na dapat akong na-turn off sa kanya, pero hindi pa rin.

Mabibilang ko din sa isang kamay lang kung ilang beses niyang sinabi ang pangalan ko. Sa mag-a-apat na taon, 4 na beses pa lang niyang sinasabi yung pangalan ko. Pag tinatawag niya ako, “oi” ang sinasabi niya. Hay naku. E ako din yung tipong naiinis kapag ganun. May pangalan ako, iyon dapat ang tawag sa akin. Matagal na dapat akong na-turn off, bad trip.

Masasabi ko namang magka-frequency kami kahit papaano. Nakakapagtawanan naman kami. Pero, pagdating sa mga bagay na gusto ko talaga, ayaw niya o kaya, di niya masakyan. Tama ba namang laitin ang laing? Taga-Bicol ako e. Sa music din, mahilig siya sa pop, mahilig ako sa alternative. Pati team ng basketball, magkaaway kami. At dun din sa paborito kong tula na ginawa ni Alejandro Abadilla, hindi niya rin masakyan, pinagtawanan pa niya. Matagal na talaga dapat akong na-turn off, hay.

Ang dami kong ginawang bagay na hindi ko akalaing gagawin ko para sa isang tao. Hindi naman sa humihingi ako ng kapalit. Pero sana na-a-appreciate man lang niya yung mga ginagawa ko. Nung inaantok siya, binigyan ko siya ng unan at higaan. Nung hindi maganda ang pakiramdam niya, inalagaan ko siya. Hindi ko nga pinagsisilbihan ng tubig yung mga magulang ko, pero siya pinainom ko. Yung mga maliliit na bagay na ganun. Pero kahit isang beses, wala akong narinig na “thank you” o “salamat” sa kanya.

Siguro iniisip ninyo, ang tanga-tanga ko no? Hehe. Wag kayong mag-alala, iniisip ko din yun sa sarili ko. Aware ako sa bagay na yun. Alam ko namang wala kaming potensyal e, kahit sinasabi ng mga tao na may pag-asa. Hay, bahala sila. Hindi ko naman kasi crush yun. Wala akong hinahangaan sa kanya. Wala akong gusto sa kanya, kasi obvious naman sa mga naisulat ko na, hate ko siya. Hindi ako infatuated. Kasi kapag infatuation, may dahilan, pero ako, wala. Lalo namang hindi ko siya mahal, hindi pa ako nasisiraan ng ulo at hindi naman kami close. Paano ko siya mamahalin kung hindi ko siya kilala? Hindi ko nga lang alam kun ano ‘to at bakit ako nagkakaganito.

Siguro friendship ang habol ko sa kanya. Ang dami kong gustong itanong sa kanya. Ang dami nang pagkakataon, pinalipas ko lang. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit ayaw niya akong kausapin. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit siya ganoon sa akin. Ayokong gawin niyang rason na dahil naiilang siya dahil aasarin kami. Pakiramdam ko, hindi yun ang dahilan. Mas tatanggapin ko pa kung ang sasabihin niya, dahil hindi lang talaga niya ako trip bilang tao.

Dalawang beses na niya akong napaiyak. Yung una, depressed na talaga ako tapos siya yung nag-trigger para maiyak na talaga ako. Yung pangalawa, tears of joy. Sa nasabi ko nga kanina, never siyang nag-thank you sa akin. At sa pagkakataon na iyon, nag-thank you siya. Napatalikod na lang ako pagkatapos niyang tawagin yung pangalan ko, sabay “thank you” at abot ng gamit na hiniram niya. Namalayan ko na lang na tumulo na yung luha ko. Hay, sa wakas, with a smile, yun ang naramdaman ko.

Ayun. Sabi ko sa inyo, nag-iiba ako kapag siya na ang pinag-uusapan. Lahat ng kadramahan na mahuhukay sa kaloob-looban ko, mailalabas. Bad trip. Pinagtatawanan nga ako nung isa kong kaibigan. Pero ewan ko, iba lang talaga siguro siya.


I wonder kung ano ang ending nitong story niya. Sana sumulat siya ulit. Hehehe. Basta ang alam ko nakakatawa yung sa akin.

Naging close din kami afterwards. Tinatawag na niya ko sa name ko at ang super sweet pa. Lagi pang may kiss. Kapag nagkikita kami, kahit wala pang isang oras kaming nagkakahiwalay, may hug na agad ako. Dahil alam niya na hindi ako puede mag-absent sa Math class ko, hihintayin niya ako ng 5 hours para lang makapag-mall kami at mag-shopping.

Sa sobrang closeness din namin, he trusted me with his secrets, especially pagdating sa mga "papa." Nakita ko na nga rin nang sobrang lumuha ang kaibigan kong ito ng dahil sa lalaki. Hay naku. Muntik ko nang pingutin ang ilong ng mokong na lalaki na iyon. Hindi ko naman siya masabunutan at mapingot sa tenga kasi matangkad siya. Actually, nasa tiyan niya lang ang height ko. Pero, I am proud to say na may ginawa ako para mapatawa ang friend ko na iyon.

Si mokong the giant eh hindi nakapagpasa ng math assignment namin na pinakopya sa kanya nung isa naming bitchy na classmate. Itinago ko yung assignment niya dun sa ilalim ng desk niya. Ewan ko lang kung nakita pa niya.

O siya, inaamin ko na bading yung naging crush ko. Lolz.

Too Bored...

What comedy movie is your life based on? There's Something About Mary You got the girl, you just need to get your "best friend" off her. You trust in people is slowly dimming as you battle for the only girl you've ever wanted.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

This is my 4th day in the house and honestly, I am already getting cranky being locked up in my cell. Damn internet provider. Had to use my boyfriend's isp account.

Obviously, I took this bummer test and this is the result.

Obviously, too, this test is meant for the guys.

Last but not the least, I haven't even watched this movie and I never liked Cameron Diaz.

Burning Calories...

For a while, I got concerned about my food intake. Before, I used to eat anything I like. I am not such a freak when it comes to gaining or losing weight. Well, I am not actually worried about my weight. It is the unwanted cellulite that is beginning to show in my tummy.

When I was taking my physical fitness class in college, my professor told me that I had a faster metabolism so I end up with a lean body mass despite eating too much. It was good to hear. I learned then that “hyper-active” people tend to burn more calories thus, the faster metabolism rate.

When my tummy cellulites began to worry me, I unconsciously skip breakfast and now lunch. I just eat a lot during dinner. Reading from a fitness article, I learned that skipping basic meals for the day will do you more harm than good. It proved that my counterplan was faulty. The body conserves energy by lowering its metabolism rate when it has not taken any food for quite some time. Prolonging such unhealthy action makes it more problematic since it will eventually make your body crave for more.

I also read that regular skipping of meals would into muscle loss. I wonder how the body “cannibalizes” on muscle fibers for additional energy. But I just compared it with how stomach ulcers came about. Gastric juices, if left alone in the stomach without any food to grind and soften will turn to your stomach linings to burn them. It is not so much an explanation but that is how I understand it. Back to “cannibalizing,’ it said that the less muscle you have, the lower your metabolism will be.

Still the advice that I used to adopt when I was reviewing for major college exams: “Sitting up is better than lying down, standing is better than sitting up and walking is better than standing.”

Wala lang...

...I wanna go somewhere else. Somewhere na walang nakakakilala sa akin. Gusto ko lang mag-isa. May naisip na ako puntahan.

A camera and 2 books plus the efforts of my 2 feet will hopefully cleanse the turmoil wreaking through me.

Suddenly, I felt so alone. How ironic that can be.

Scream...

I was almost tempted to do so. The place is becoming like a corporate jungle full of bad vibes. To think that it would never happen was an understatement. It was shocking, really.

The "suckers" were at it again. They just don't stop. They are beginning to get into my nerves.

It was like "manna" was falling down from heaven and these &*$%!! were like greedy crocodiles.

If it is not for you, don't grab it. If it is meant to be shared, don't hide and fly with it solo.


Alias & Friends...

I cannot wait to go home and have myself glued in front of my desktop. I am becoming addicted to it...=)

*hmm* who wants nutty chocolate and a boston creme? I have a sweet tooth today...


Ignored...

Bad dreams had always dominated my sleep. That's why I prefer to stay up wide awake at night. I can still recall instances when I was awaken not by the nightmares that continually haunt me at night but it was the deadly pain shooting through my chest. I woke up holding my heart with tears flowing nonstop. I could not breathe. I thought I would die. But no, I did not.

Now, the bad dreams are trying to manifest itself. I always try to think that maybe I am getting paranoid. Yeah, maybe I am. But sometimes, it is paranoia that simply helps me survive the hard times.

It just makes me so sad to think about it. Everyday, it feels like I am hanging on to something that is bound to lose sooner or later.

All I wanted was what they say as quality time. But I guess, that will never happen.

Better spend quality time with myself.

*mewonders* Maybe I was boring enough...

Since Friday Till Today...

March31 - Masaya kasi I arrived early sa office. Ubos na kasi sweldo ko dahil sa tardiness and it marked heavily on my performance appraisal. Kaya saya ko dahil hindi ako late. Secondly, I received something na pampalubag-loob. Walang kinalaman ang papi ko doon eh. Sowee.

March30 - HIndi ako nakapasok sa work dahil na-stranded ako dahil sa transport strike. Hay.

March29 - Official Welcome at Despedida Party para sa soon-to-be-former and soon-to-be new immediate superior ko. Kilala ko na yung magiging new boss ko kasi I worked with him 2 years ago pa, when I was still in-charge of environmental and supporting industries projects. That time, counterpart ko lang siya. Ngayon, boss ko na siya. Hahay.

Nagbigay kami ng kanya-kanyang speech. For the first time, hindi ako kinabahan. Parang normal na nakikipag-usap ako sa kanila.

Sa office na lang ginanap yung party. Mejo delayed nga nagsimula eh. Type ko papakin yung pizza from Yellow Cab at saka yung barbeque. Tsalap.

Past 9 na rin kami natapos.

March27-28 - Tree-Planting Day sa Angat Dam. Ok lang siya pero mejo na-badtrip ako. Hindi na iba yon kasi madali talaga ako ma-badtrip. As much as I try talaga, hindi ko maiwasan ang hindi mainis sa bawat lakad.

Sobra lang talaga akong na-badtrip kasi may mga tao doon na puro satsat lang. Iba ang sinasabi sa pinangangalandakan na dapat gawin. Isa pang nakakainis eh yung makarinig ka ng sobrang mahalay na bagay. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na manang ako. Marunong din naman ako sumakay sa mga ganon pero sana naman, lagyan ng iba ng preno ang mga bibig nila. Sa totoo lang, ikinahihiya ko na maksama sa grupo niya.

Kung may pagbibigyan man ako ng magagandang salita, isa lang yon. Si Sir Budz. Hanga ako sa galing at determination mo. Kahit ikaw lang, so what? Tuloy ka pa rin na simulan at tapusin ang ipinangako mong gawin. Bow ako sa iyo.

March26 - Bowling Tournament namin. Yehey. I won the Most Improved Player Award. Yuhoo. My prize? A Swatch watch *megrins*