Lavender & Coffee Stains

Topak...

Oo, tinopak na naman ako kahapon. Unfortunately, ang boyfriend ko ang pinag-initan ko. Ewan ko ba. Alam kong mali pero di ko maiwasan. Siguro kasi, lagi siya nandiyan. Easier to reach. Guilty na nga ko eh. Lahat na nga ginagawa niya para mapasaya ako tapos ako naman walang ginawa kundi awayin siya. Believe me honey, love kita kaya lang pag tinopak ako, topak talaga. Promise, nag-mellowed down na ako ng lagay na iyan. Malas mo kung nagkakilala tayo dati. Malamang hindi mo ko magging tayf non. Pasensya na talaga.

Eh kasi naman (there goes my defence line), sinanay mo ako na laging nandiyan ka. Ako pa naman iyung tipong sanayan. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na dependent na ako sa iyo kasi hindi naman talaga. Naiinis lang ako sa feeling na gusto ko lagi ka andiyan. That's a nice idea but it surely does not help me. Tangeks nga ako eh kasi ako nag-set ng isang resolution sa problemang iyan pero ako din sumisira. Siguro nga, girl na ako. [Gets mo bakit? Kasi saliwaan na rin ako mag-isip. Kasali na rin ako sa mga babaeng unpredictable mag-isip pero predictable na pabago-bago ang isip]. Oh yes, I am a girl now.

Anyway, alam kong binabaybay mo ang pag-akyat sa maliit na bundok ng Taal para mag-linis kasama ng iba pang grupo. *hmm* Ingat lang ha. Alam kong madaming chicks diyan, magaganda pa. In fact, walang sinabi beauty ko. Nagkataon pa naman na puro kayo boys diyan sa group, magkakaibigan. Malamang gumawa ng kalokohan. Sayang wala iyung bantay ko.

Oist, papi! Last emote ko lang. Alam ko sawang-sawa ka na at naiinis na marinig ito, pero sasabihin ko pa rin. Better tell me straight if you are falling out of it. I would not mind accepting your decision...or maybe I would but I have to.

By the way, salamat ng marami dito. Ganda-ganda nila.

Echoes of the Heart

Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall in love and there are times when we love so much that we lose ourselves in our own emotions. More often than not, we wonder why there are love that grows, and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been... silent, mysterious and deeply profound. Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it last and then freely open our arms when its time to say goodbye. When we fall in love with someone, we don't want that feeling to end for it is everything we are, everything that we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts. But, if it doesn't then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin.There is always reason why we have to move on. When we have to say good-bye to the feelings we wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart. For love will have to set its wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever. Then we'll know that it has never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always stay. It will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy, not because we have lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feeling lived in our hearts and made us happy.

In my present state of mind, this made me ponder some real things in my life. I am trying to accept the reality that may possibly happen but this time, I will do my very best to do something, change something to avoid this from happening...maybe I should work hard on acquiring more patience and understanding.

What a crybaby...

Damn it! I wish nobody saw me did it. I just cannot help doing it. Keeping this unwanted emotion inside makes my heart want to explode. For days, I have been trying not to shed tears. I do not want to for the act is a sign of weakness. It makes me more vulnerable to the pain. Some impossible thoughts keep on popping up in my head. After all, they are probable to happen, too.

The thing that happened today started from a foolish thought OR more like a foolish desire [not the desire everybody is thinking, ok]. I need the presence. I am longing for it but sometimes I had to restrain myself. I have my pride which I had half-discarded.

I am having mixed emotions. Emotions that I had kept intact, in place before; which never ruled me - over my decisions, my life.

If I am wishing for one material thing right now, that's it. And God knows what it is.

Huahhhhhhhhhh...Hihihi...

Siemai, siopao! Tambakakis ang work ko. They kept on piling up one after the other. I wonder what time ako makakauwi.

But my heart is dancing with the wind. Hihihi! I am flying. {A while ago, I wanted to dance. Hehehe!}

While I as talking to someone about this good news, I was trying so hard not to reveal the emotions that have been jumping in and out of me. I was trying so hard not to smile. Yahoo! Here I come...

I am leaving next Friday! That will be so strenous. To think I have a seminar that afternoon. I do not mind at all!

Rushing...

TGIF na! I am still overloaded with work and tons of deadlines for the day but I am overwhelmingly happy. I accomplished each task with ease despite some unwanted hassles. So, my patience was put to a test. I did pass. I can even give those people (who made my life easier today) a big peck on the cheek!

I wish everyday would be like this. This is the kind of movement I always wanted in every job I take. I would be perfectly happy when it comes to work.

Yipee! I am going somewhere! No, I will be sent off somewhere. Yahoo! I wanna jump, I wanna dance like ooohh-la-la! Hehehe!

A while ago, I was so down but I decided that I just have to consider things and revise some minute things in my life (if they are really that small).

Oooohhh-la-la-la! I wanna do the boogie! [Supposed to be cha-cha but I prefer boogie more].

What a "push"...

This will be such a busy day, I know. I was late by 17 minutes due to an unusual traffic. My movements were quick and I had no intention of dilly-dallying. Unfortunately and fortunately, I had to attend to my superior's guest and it took an hour of my time. But then, I was too glad to accommodate him for he was one of the people who made me feel welcome in his company during one of my plant tours in Shizuoka. It was nice talking to him.

I was so excited to get on with the work. Things turned sour when some people started acting a little bit pushy. I hate that.

Letting off some steam...

Today...

...I am feeling so low, so sad, so frustrated, so scared. I was almost on the verge of tears while on my way to the office. Why do things turn they way they are, far from what you want, what you expect? To think, you only mean the best of intentions. People do not even understand you; that you only want the best for them. Oh, maybe it was because I was never good enough in saying the right words OR maybe, I was just plain not good enough for them. I just wanted to make them safe and happy.

A lot of scenarios are popping up in my head. Thoughts that leave me wondering and scared. If only I can predict the future then maybe, I will know what to do and stop from getting hurt. People said it is better to feel pain because it makes you human. Because being human makes you feel happy, too. But pain is too hard to bear. It breaks you apart, ruins your self-esteem. Something I cannot give up, for it is the block that makes me go on with my life.

Based on my Jan 22 entry...

Let me post this article anyway...entitled: Self-Discovery.

It has been a ritual for me to spend a few moments at our terrace everytime I got home from school. I love to see the varied hues of the setting of the sun. The transformation itself is my indicator that my environs will soon be enveloped by dusk. As the moon proclaims itself in the vast expanse of the dark sky thereby illuminating the lines of my vision, I eagerly waited for the little creatures that will troop their way to the spacious basketball court. IT's SHOWTIME AGAIN!!! With their yayas in tow, these adorable creatures slipped into a dimension only them could understand. I used to watch them everyday. I know how each kid laugh and cry. I would love to hear Nikita scream her heart out everytime the little boys pull her hair. I would love to see Len-Len run after the boys and give them a punch everytime the boys tell her not to join because she's a girl. I would love to see Kim running around holding her slippers close to her heart so she won't get caught and be the 'it'. I would love to see Inah cheating out on Maricar over piko. I would love to see Shanelle bicycling the four corners of the court. I don't know the little boys' names but I christened them. I love to see them play with the girls, too. I love to see Kulit snatch Inah's pato and throw it in the air. I love to see Pikon cry everytime he gets dapa. I love to see Galing play his stylish tumbang-preso. I love to see them all. I love to see them making faces at me. I love to see them waving their little hands to me.

Their laughter, their cries, their screams could be heard in the air. Basking with delight and excitement, I was caught up in their exhilaration. During those moments, I looked up to the heavens and wished I was a kid again. I wanted to be a kid again. I wanted to play with them. I wanted to be like them so I'll never think what the future has in store for me. A lot of problems and worries, perhaps.

Gazing down at them, I then thought how lucky it is to be a kid again. They never worry about their parents' problems nor kill themselves by thinking too much of the future. Every waking time, playing seemed to be their life. I thought being a kid excuses you from facing the harsh realities of this so-called life. But I was wrong.

I came to realize this only after I joined as a volunteer in UP Manila's volunteer society - the Ugnayan ng Pahinungod. I first joined the Tutorial Program way back in '97. The program aims to render tutorial assistance to students who are at risk of failing their subjects. At first, I was hesitant about joining this particular program. My original plan was to join health-medical related programs (I was a frustrated doctor, still am) and not those that deal with a whole bunch of kids. Ate Maylin, who was then the program's coordinator, tried hard to convince me. I told her that I'll think about it. But she was so persistent in my saying yes. Knowing myself, I bowed down when all I want to say is no. I just told myself I'll worry later when this thing is going on.

I thought of a lot of reasons why I should NOT let myself volunteer as a tutor. Me, a volunteer, a tutor? This is funny!!! Am I nuts or what? Probably. Tutoring means teaching and teaching entails a lot of imaginable things. But I, for the life and love of me, can't see nor picture myself as a tutor. (A) I don't know if I like kids; (B) I don't know if I would be able to handle them good; (C) I don't know if I possess the virtue of patience which I'll need in my dealings with them; (D) I don't know if I will be able to share the knowledge they need; (E) I don't know if they will ever come close to liking me. All of my reasons actually made sense. No, I am not nuts. I guess, no, I think I'm scared. Most probably. The thought about my what-ifs-turned-what-if-nots were only rooted in my sense of fear. I'm frightened by the feeling of failure and helplessness. I'm used to experiencing victory and glory, not the other way around.

I attended a couple of orientations and seminars. From there I learned that I, as one of the volunteers, will be teaching public elementary students. Students who belong to the lowest section of a certain grade level. So, if you'll be teaching a grade two student, he or she for sure belongs to section 14, 15 or even 20. I also heard tales that a certain grade six student doesn't even know how to recite, worst recognize the letters of the alphabet. They also have to learn how to count 1-10. Worst scenario would be -- if the assigned student to you has dyslexic problems. Unfortunately, the bomb was dropped right on to me.

Uncertainty still pervaded my thoughts despite my saying yes. But my word of honor stood by me. I was deployed to two schools (entirely my fault). One is near the university and the other in very far Sta. Mesa. Mondays and Wednesdays, from 1-3 pm was for J. Lucban Elementary School; Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1-3 pm (also) was for Padre Burgos Elementary School, in Sta. Mesa. I think I could add another two reasons why I should not volunteer as a tutor. I found it out later on. First, my schedule of 1-3 pm subjected me to battling the intense heat of the sun. I felt like I drank vodka everytime my stubborn head comes in contact with the offensive heat of the sun. Second, the inexcusable traffic jam turned me into a withered vegetable. I would rather opt for jogging 7 laps than sitting, waiting for the wheels of the FX taxi I was riding to roll a little of a quarter. I couldn't stand the weary, almost interminable trip back to school. You see, I had a 4 pm class with a boring professor. So, what does it make me ??? Yes, I was complaining!!!

The task ahead made me mull over things again. I was scared, yes, but I need to conquer my fear. I had to. My reasons made sense but they were too shallow to let them scare me. I focused my thoughts on the students' situation instead of my growing fear.

A lot of times did I feel clueless on what, or more so, on how am I supposed to do things. From these two schools, I met Grace and John. For a first-timer in teaching/tutoring, I was given a challenge. A challenge, which I first thought, will scare me out of my wits and lead me to my doom. Grace was a dyslexic and John was surely a very slow-learner. Grace was a grade six student who had been in that grade level 4 times while John was in his Grade IV five times. When I met them, they were very shy. Probably because of their situation. In school, they were treated as an 'outcast' by their classmates. At home, they were not given the most possible attention nor the affection they were supposed to receive from their immediate family. Coming from destitute families, these two shy kids were forced to pull their limbs and worked out in the streets as sampaguita-cigarette vendor and a carwash boy. Not a few times did I discover that they absent themselves from school. When asked why, they said that they have to earn a few bucks so as to be able to give their fathers - money for their bottle of gin while for their mothers - money for their mahjong. I didn't want to judge their folks why they were like that. But I couldn't help it. When they were supposed to raise their kids in the most decent way, they were the ones ruining their future or most aptly, their very lives. Instead of helping them and realize their potential, there they were, unaware (?????) of what was going on with their children's lives.

For more than two months, I was able to gain their trusts and capture their hearts. In their eyes, I was their Ate -- a sister they never had. Yes, I came, not close, but very close to their hearts. They shared with me not only their thoughts and secrets but their dreams as well. They revealed to me their worries, fears and heartaches, too.

You see, this tutorial thing made me discover a few good things about myself. I decided that my fears were baseless, after all. The hard-thought reasons on why should I NOT volunteer as a tutor were unfounded. Because, I just discovered that: (1) I like kids; (2) I can handle them good, if not well; (3) I possess a certain degree of patience that won't crack under pressure. Another thing I found out about myself was that I was capable of sharing them a teeny-weeny bit of knowledge. In my own little way plus their desire and zest to learn, we were able to achieve our goal. Both of them did good in their respective classes. Grace could now distinguish the letter b from letter d and she could also recite the alphabet without mistakes. John, on the other hand, had also improved his reading and counting abilities. I know that it's kinda incredible to accomplish such things in so short a time. But like you do, I swear I don't believe it either. I don't know how did it happen.

They may not have gotten a much better grade but I am proud of them. I have seen their efforts and I laud them for that.

###############
I guess being an adult and wishing you were a kid again is just normal. According to my psychology professor, it is one mechanism by which man resorts to just to escape the cruel realities of this so-called life. But then, thinking about it, I mean being a kid again, I'd rather be what I am now. Being what I am now could do more than just wonder and ponder. Because somehow, I know what to do. I can do my little part in easing their hard-led lives. I can give them a hand when they need help. I can lend them my ears when they want someone to listen to their cares and worries. I can try to boost their morale and build their confidence. I can teach them to appreciate themselves before they will be able to appreciate others. I can have a little share in touching their hearts while they have greatly touched mine.

I gave them so little and yet what I got in return was far more than what I expected. More than anything else, I came to discover my true self and worth as a person.

posted in Peyups
by missed_UP [that's me]

EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE


1. Don't force a fit--if something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.

2. When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.

3. Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.

4. Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.

5. When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see #4).

6. The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook. Refer to the Creator's guidebook often.

7. Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.

8. Working together with friends and family makes any task fun.

9. Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.

10. Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.

11. Take time often to celebrate your successes (even little ones).

12. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.

13. When you finally reach the last piece, don't be sad. Rejoice in the masterpiece you've made and enjoy a well-deserved rest.

Ang Katarantaduhan sa Likod ng Pag-akyat ng Bundok
by mysteriosa


"Ano ba talaga ang nakukuha nyo sa pamumundok bukod sa sex?," asked one of my kainuman one time as he flipped over our Pulag pictures.

"Wala! Yun lang talaga," I jokingly retorted.

"Ano na namang pasali iyan?," asked my mom in Bicol. She had been nitpicking on my mountaineering sprees for quite sometime.

Since last year, I had gone to Daguldul, Pulag, Caliraya, Pinatubo, Manalmon, Maculot, Kilung, Mayon and so on. These treks were one of the major causes of my depleted bank savings and my buffed up legs.

"Duldulon ka na," again remarked my mom using our house dialect, as she pointed to the scratches and grasscuts marked on my knees, legs, feet and arms.

"Ano ba talaga ang nakukuha nyo sa pamumundok bukod sa sex?," asked one of my kainuman one time as he flipped over our Pulag pictures.

"Wala! Yun lang talaga," I jokingly retorted.

"Naghahanap kasi ako ng boys e," I explained to my giggling officemates. They are frequently amused by my kenkoy bundok stories and how I convince them that hiking is an investment on fafas. "E kung sa Libis ako tatambay, bading lang madedekwat ko. Buti na sa bundok, macho activity to," I whimsically elaborated.

"O, ba't kulang ang answers mo dito sa questionnaire," Don asked. He was our club's secretary and he reiterated my not answering the question: "Why do you climb mountains?"

I just shrugged off because that time, I was not in the mood for answering slumbook-type queries.

"Ah, ilalagay ko dito because of WatchBoy. Tee-hee-hee!, "kidded Don.

"Tee-hee-hee," I smirked, taking care not to bring up further discussions.

During my induction in Ilocos, I was brought back to that same question which has untiringly trailed me ever since I started trekking.

"Why do you climb mountains?"

"I climb for climbing's sake," I smart-aleckly responded, while intentionally misquoting the adage "I travel for travel's sake. Man's greatest desire is to move."

Still the querying panel was adamant.

Think fast and think smart, I mused to myself.

"I climb because it makes me reflect things."

"Reflections like what?," impatiently asked one afro-member.

"That no matter how unbearable life may be, no one can help you but yourself."

"While I was clambering Mt. Kilung, I was near to shedding tears because I never expected that the 4-hour trek would take us 10 hours. I wanted to give up and just pitch on the trail. But I had to move on. Because everyone was moving on. I had to move on with my bulky backpack because no one else will lift it for me. Because everyone else is enduring the same exhaustion I did."

"In life, it's the same thing. No one can truly solve our problems but ourselves. The Hero-concept is not-so-true in real life. You are your own hero. You save yourself. You bring your own load. It is your own feet that take you to the campsite. No one will carry you or your pack."

Then ---

Applause.

Plak-plak-plakan...

"Ang galing..."

"Taga-UP yan..."

"Ayos, pasok na..."

After my bola speech, I was barraged with praises.

"Hay, thank you Lord," I muttered like the Jollibee boy.

I didn't know that it was my reason for climbing. Not until that moment.

Because frankly, I climb mountains for novelty's sake. If I didn't go into hiking, I would have taken Photography or Painting or Street Dancing or Swimming. But the chance of snaking through the mountains was laid to me at a point when I was clamoring for a change of lifestyle. So, I started conquering mountains. And mountains, too, began conquering me.

Someday, something new will befall on me again, and with that, I may have to abandon mountaineering. But since I haven't had that encounter yet, I might as well savor the peaks, the falls and bruises, the tents and gears, and so on.

I just hope that that pesky question will soon die down. Then again, I doubt it.

Source: Peyups


Like everybody else who had developed the passion for climbing, I have been asked a lot of times, especially by my mom and closest friends. Normally, I do not provide satisfactory answers to that. I have my reasons...reasons that shows my vulnerability, my weakness.

Up there, one forgets everything...

Inflated fears, deflated hopes

The Chinese fear inflation; the Japanese long for it.



WILL the year of the monkey be marked by economic mischief? The Chinese celebrated the lunar new year on Thursday January 22nd, gladdened by the news that the economy grew by 9.1% in 2003. But this heartening performance has stoked fears that the Chinese economy is overheating. It wouldn’t be the first time. During the last year of the monkey, in 1992, China’s then leader, Deng Xiaoping, made his famous tour of the south, urging the country to make the most of its new economic liberties. Liberty soon slid into licence, however, and within a year or two the economy was struggling to cope with rampant over-investment and inflation over 20%.

This year marks an equally troubling anniversary for China’s neighbouring economic giant, Japan. It was ten years ago that the economic superpower fell into a deflationary quagmire from which it has yet to escape. Core consumer prices registered a small increase in October, but fell again in November. The GDP deflator, a broader measure of prices, continues to fall by over 2% a year. While the Chinese authorities are acting smartly to head off inflation, the Japanese authorities are actively seeking it.

Inflation, said Milton Friedman, a Nobel prizewinning economist, is always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon. Maybe so. But Japan has phenomenal amounts of money, and inflation remains always and everywhere elusive. The Bank of Japan is pursuing a policy of “quantitative easing”. It cannot lower the price of money any further—nominal interest rates are already at zero—so it has boosted the quantity of money in the economy instead. Over the past two years, this policy has increased the monetary base by half. On Tuesday, the central bank surprised onlookers by increasing the money supply still further. It now aims to flood the banking system with reserves of ¥30 trillion-35 trillion ($280 billion-330 billion), up from its previous target of ¥27 trillion-32 trillion.

In China too, the money supply is increasing, though not with the central bank’s blessing. To maintain its currency peg, the People’s Bank of China has to create enough yuan to satisfy foreign demand for the currency at the going rate of 8.3 yuan to the dollar. As a result, it is losing its grip on the amount of liquidity in circulation. Broad money is growing by around 20% a year. Bank lending is expanding in step. Investment in plant, equipment and other capital assets is growing at rates not seen since the runaway years of 1993-94. Inflation has edged up, from negative territory a year ago to 3.2% now.

Even so, fears of overheating may be a little overdone. China’s modest inflation can be put down to a disappointing harvest, which raised food prices. There may be shortages in some sectors, such as electricity generation, but there is still much slack to be taken up in the rest of the economy. Labour in particular is never in short supply. Unemployment among those who have left the fields for the cities is thought to be quite high. Underemployment among those who work in loss-making state-owned factories is still higher. To keep the factory workers and peasants happy, China must mobilise labour on a grand scale. Economic growth of 9% or more is not surplus to requirements, because the country’s requirements are so stiff.

China is mobilising capital on an equally grand scale. According to official statistics, its investment rate is around 40% of national income and growing. The fear is that once mobilised, this capital will be mis-allocated. China’s state-owned commercial banks make over 60% of the country’s loans. Past history suggests they do not lend well. With marvellous understatement, the People’s Bank of China admits that the “mechanism of internal control” at these banks “still needs improvement”.

In the meantime, the Beijing authorities have taken to curbing, restricting or rationing the allocation of capital themselves. Investments in steel, cars, aluminium and luxury housing are all subject to new regulations. Last September, the central bank went a step further, raising the reserve requirements for banks in the hope of curtailing lending. The policy seems to be working for now. Bank lending in the final quarter of last year seems to have slowed.

If China’s problems stem from banks too willing to lend, Japan’s stem from banks unwilling to lend at all. Loans in Japan have fallen for 72 months in a row. Banks are reluctant to lend because the bad loans of the past still weigh heavily on their balance sheets; entrepreneurs are reluctant to borrow because demand for their products is weak and the price they can fetch for them falls every year; and, completing the vicious circle, households are reluctant to spend because goods will be cheaper next year. As a result, however much money the Bank of Japan creates, it is not being lent, borrowed or spent.

With spending at home flat, Japan relies more than ever on spending abroad. Indeed, the boom in nearby China may represent its best hope of escaping from its doldrums. Japan’s export-led recovery, now almost two years old, owes much to surging Chinese demand for its products. Morgan Stanley reckons that China accounted for no less than 66% of Japan’s export growth in the first nine months of 2003. In the space of a year, China has been transformed from scapegoat to saviour in Japan’s eyes. In December 2002, Japanese officials publicly rebuked China for exporting deflation around the world. Now, many recognise that it is helping their economy to reflate.

But Japan’s hopes may be thwarted by China’s fears. By taking steps to avert inflation in their own country, the Chinese authorities may halt the return of inflation to Japan. If the Chinese economy slows this year, its appetite for Japan’s exports will wane and its role as an engine of growth in the region will weaken. The Chinese believe that the year of the monkey is capricious and unpredictable. The Japanese may soon believe it too.

Source: The Economist Global Agenda
22 Jan '04

Chinese New Year...

Year 2004 is the Year of the and I was born in the Year of the . A Chinese friend of mine who practices feng shui told me that the year ahead would be such a bumpy ride towards my ultimate resoultion: TO SAVE!

I must have a tight grip on spending and that I must resist any extravagant temptations to pull out paper money just to satisfy my unnecessary whims. *Hmm* Well, that got me thinking. Goodness! I am really bent on fulfilling this resolution of mine, you know.

She also sensed in me petty misunderstandings resulting to arguments. Oh, those are normal! Hehehe! But then, I promise to try my very best to lengthen my thread of patience, to broaden my understanding.

Reminiscing...

I was browsing through Peyups when I decided to check on my profile. Then I saw my article which was posted there. It was more than a year ago. Reading through it again brought me to the past and somehow, recalling all of it gave my heart a warm touch. I miss that small part of my life. I remember the kids, the experience.

I gave them so little and yet what I got in return was far more than what I expected. More than anything else, I came to discover my true self and worth as a person.

Hahaay...1

Puchi-puchi naman! Sakit na talaga ng likod ko. Ang dati kong sakit, bumabalik na naman. Higa muna ko. Malamang late ako nito sa work. Of course, that must not happen kasi half of the day, I will be in the office and the other half naman sa labas. Meron kasi seminar ang Research Group. Sa Tax and Accounting, specifically, Corporate Income Tax. Bwisit kasi iyang management ng PhilamLife Tower. Napaka-inefficient ng employee. Sarap na nga batukan eh. Muntik ko nang murahin last time. Akalain mo ba namang hindi i-reserve ang seminar room na December pa lang eh pina-reserve ko na. Di ko tuloy naiwasang pagsabihan siya. Sinabi ko talagang inefficient siya. Ilang bese na rin kasi niyang ginawa iyon. Ang hirap na ngang tawagan siya sa phone, di pa nagre-return call. Anak ng tokwa!

Buti na lang available pa ang Manila Peninsula Hotel.

Sige, let me lie down muna! Chienes!

Hahaay...

Anak ng tokwa naman o! Gusto ko nang matulog pero hindi naman ako makatulog. Paano ba naman tambakakis pa itong trabaho na gagawin ko. Gusto ko tuloy isumpa ang election, investments, business sentiments at iba pa. Sa totoo lang, isa pa lang nauumpisahan ko. At bakit hindi? Aber? Siempre, inuna ko muna ang paglaro ng triple pop sa mobile phone ko, mag-check ng email, mag-post sa blog at mag-surf. Ayan tuloy, sumasakit na naman ang likod ko. Tumatanda na yata ako. Ewan ko ba. Dapat talagang gumawa ako ng paraan para maibalik na ang aking self-control. Yun bang may conviction. Hay buhay!

Back to work!

This Song...

I like this song. Maybe because it was sung by this very talented girl named Sarah Geronimo. Actually, I love her version of Celine Dion's To Love You More, which is one of my favorites.

Forever's Not Enough

If I would have to live my life again
I'd stay in love with you the way I've been
your love is something no one ever can replace
I can't imagine life w/ someone else
I promise, I will share my life w/ you
forever may not be enough its true
my heart is filled w/ so much love I feel for you
no words can say how much I love you so

chorus
and if forever's not enough for me
to love you I'd spent another lifetime
baby if u ask me to there’s nothing I won't do
forever's not enough to love you so.

they say tomorrow seems so far away,
and now we see that everything can change
my love for you gets stronger as tomorrow comes
I know this love will stand in the
test of time

repeat chorus

for you, there’s nothing I can do and ever
will I ever go
forever's not enough to love you so
but if forever ends one day
I'll promise you I'll stay to show you
that my love for you will never end...

repeat chorus

Forecasts...



For 2004
Career takes center stage this 2004. There will be a general desire to move up the career ladder or shift to a totally new career. Also, you will find yourself working hard to improve financial stability. Family members will be very supportive this year and some may even open doors of opportunity.

All I can say is "Nyenyenyenyenye!"


For January 16-31
Talks about money can be problematic if you have not been careful with how you spend other people's money. Accounting is must. You may also have to cut down on your expenses. New developments at work will bring you more money but your partner may become a hindrance to this. Be careful with your reputation; someone you trust can create some problems. Battle lies with the truth.

Uy, intriga yan ha. Hehehe!

Malfunctioning Gray Cells...

I am not in the mood to update this blog with what had happened to me in the past few weeks. I am entirely worn out, washed out, fatigued and hurting. So, I will just content myself with posting anything that was either forwarded or something that I have read.

You Idiot, Asshole, Bitch or whatever...

While I was reading through this email, all I felt was deep anger & the desire to spit ill words to this Anonymous' face. See? His email does not work and his email says he / she is a nobody? Maybe that was why he was able to write this hate mail. A complete insecured, jealous, pathetic human being. I pity you. And almost everybody does.

I admire the people who reacted, defended our race in this email.

I cannot help but react to this email. I may not share the same profession nor the lifestyle that they have. It is more like defending your own kind, your own race which is at the brunt of this maligned email. I am a Filipino. In my veins, that proud blood runs through me.


The One Who Started It All

From: Anonymous (nobody@paranoici.org)
Subject: Filipino Motherfuckers
Newsgroups: sci.med.nursing
Date: 2003-10-03 21:08:12 PST

My hospital is being deluged by this trash. I dont care what anyone says,
their skills do not measure up, they are not proactive, and they are very
robot like in behavior. They put up with just about everything, because
they are so glad to be here, they dare not complain.

We are being betrayed by our own. Hiring this vermin does not raise the
bar, it lowers it. How many thousands of dollars is spent importing,
housing, and training this Asian puke, when it could be better spent on our
own.

Call me rascist, call me whatever you want, but the floodgates that our
management has opened up will have long term ramifications for our
profession, and it will not be for the better.

As long as we import this putrid vermin from Asia , nursing will continue to
deteriorate and our bargaining strentgh will be lost as this subservient,
robotic like scum crosses our borders and delutes our strength

The best thing would be a plague to destroy every fucking slant eyed
Filipino out there. I hate to look at you and work with you.

And if you dont like what I say, I hope that one day one of your loved ones
is in the exclusive care of these robotic imbeciles. You will see!!!


Reactions

From: Belle (belle@filnurse.com)
Subject: Re: Filipino Motherfuckers
Newsgroups: sci.med.nursing
Date: 2003-10-08 16:54:19 PST

Filipino nurses come in droves but not all of them are "too happy" to
be in the U.S. We are aware of the hardships that beset us once we
land U.S. soil: inequality, discrimination, homesickness, etc. But
among our options, we'd rather face those realities in the U.S. than
become helpless in dealing with corruption, poverty and
carnival-politics back home.

We didn't go to the U.S. to ask for respect. We do not even get
respect from our own government. What has been left of us is the hope
that some day things will get better for our children. But of course,
you do not understand that, Anonymous, as I believe you have never
traveled in third-world nations.

However, being poor doesn't deter us from giving our best at work
wherever we may be. We came to U.S. to work as nurses, therefore, our
responsibility is towards the health client regardless of race, age or
color.

Our skills do not measure up, you say. For your information, our
educational system in nursing is taught in English and is
competency-based. Our curriculum which works towards a B.S. in
Nursing is patterned after..surprise, surprise...the American
curriculum.

Don't give the impression that Filipino nurses owe your country a
great deal for taking us in. Excuse me, it is America who came to us
and ask for our nurses to fill in your so-called nursing shortage.
Other countries such as U.K. and Australia have already drafted
statements on ethical recruitment of overseas nurses as you are
usurping third-world nations of labor resources. I wonder what will
happen if the Philippine government makes a sudden turnaround and
pulls out our nurses from your country and stop the importation. Have
you ever thought of that, Mr./Ms. Anonymous as you were talking about
"long-term ramifications on our profession." By then, I wish you luck
in training non-English speaking nurses.

On the subject of Filipino nurses not being pro-active, thank you for
showing us that the pro-active way of dealing with your problems with
Filipino nurses is by posting a hate mail using an anonymous email..
If you've been reading international nursing news, other first-world
nations like U.K. have taken the pro-active way of dealing with issues
faced by overseas nurses working in their countries like problems in
communicatin, professional development, discrimination and equal
opportunity. Translate that to your current situation, may I suggest
that the pro-active way to deal with your robot-like colleague is to
send him/her to train in assertiveness, communication and/or clinical
competencies. Your anger will not help you nor him nor your hospital.

As far as I know, Filipino nurses in America is still a minority group
so I can not understand how we, as a group, could affect your
"bargaining strength."
What are you so afraid of? Is our voice that strong enough to
influence management decision-process? I don't believe so.

With regard to your imbecile, robot-like colleague, I wonder if you
ever talked to him and asked what's wrong with him? You know, talk to
him as a PERSON. Perhaps, he/she is acting that way because one,
he/she just found out that he/she's been duped by his American
recruiters and is being paid less than what it should be; two, he
just realized how deplorable his working condition is (esp. working
with someone like you); three, he/she couldn't understand your slang
as he/she only speaks proper English.

Call us trash, call us imbeciles, call us whatever you like. Your
words are a reflection on you, not on Filipino nurses. They are a
reflection of your insecurities, your job dissatisfaction, lack of
cultural understanding and lack of knowledge on international affairs.
I even thank you for bringing up this subject on Filipino nurses
because this gives me the opportunity to enlighten you, Anonymous, on
matters that obviously you have little knowledge of. You are a
disgrace to the American people. Most of the Americans have moved on
since 1944 when the KKK collapsed. This is 2003, hello?

One day, I'm going to work in America. If ever I have the chance to
take care of your loved ones, Anonymous, they will know what "real"
nursing is all about. I'll make sure they will get the best nursing
care there is...Filipino-style.


From: anapma@yahoo.com (anapma@yahoo.com)
Subject: Filipino Motherfuckers
Newsgroups: sci.med.nursing
Date: 2003-10-09 13:23:09 PST

Anonymous,

Congratulations! our comments about "Filipino Motherfuckers" have been
well said...coming from an ignorant like you. You obviously don't have
a clue about Filipinos and more importantly about nursing. If you did
not have any qualms about insulting Filipino nurses, I certainly would
not mind EDUCATING your litle ignorant mind, whatever is left of it.

Anonymous, you may not be aware of it or you may have chosen to ignore
it, that nursing is about love, compassion and understanding for all
people regardless of color, nationality, cultural background, belief
and stature in society. Nursing is about having the time and patience
to talk to those who need companionship. It is about lending an ear to
those who need a patient listener> It is not just about giving pills
or dressing wounds but it is also about giving encouragement to those
who need it. It is about being able to turn of your sense of smell and
smiling at the same time while cleaning up patients who can't help
themselves. It is about answering call lights of patients whose nurses
have gone on their third cigarette break for the entire shift. It is
about talking and listening to patients whom no one else would like to
talk to.

A nurse who is all brains and skills but no heart is no better than a
robot.Fortunately, we Filipinos do not only have brains and the
skills, we also have the biggest hearts. Your comment about Filipino
nurses reflect who you are. I pity the patients who have come under
your care. They did not get the nursing care that they deserve. A
nurse who has no respect for fellow nurses can never give a genuine
"tender loving care".

If you think that we Filipinos are ignorant, complacent and non
pro-active, you are wrong. If you think that we are not aggressive and
would not dare complain because we are only too glad to be here, you
are VERY WRONG!You wouldn't be hearing from me if I were passive. We
just don't waste our time complaining about trivial things. We're
being paid hard earned money (minus the taxes!) that is why we work
hard and give back as much as we can to the institutions we work for.
I assure you that you will be hearing more from Filipinos like me. WE
are not cowards unlike people like you who do not have the guts or
balls (assuming that you are a member of the male species) to reveal
their true identity. We are brave enough to speak our minds because we
know that we speak the truth.

If you think that Filipinos have no contribution to society other than
being "cheap labor" for other countries, you are wrong. The next time
you turn on the lights and see a flourescent bulb or light, think of
us Filipinos whom you have lambasted with your derogatory remarks. We
invented it! If you think about the space program, remember ther moon
buggy. A Filipino invented it.

Anonymous, if you think that "world class" nurses like Filipinos are
able to come to the United States out of sheer luck, you are VERY,
VERY WRONG!It takes a lot of grey matter and guts to be able to go to
the US, UK or anywhere in the world. A Filipino nurse who would like
to work in other countries has to have the proper education and enough
intelligence, skills and compassion of course to be able to succeed in
his or her career. Do not underestimate us, particularly our
educational preparation because no Filipino nurse is without a
Bachelor of Science in Nursing (as in B.S.N.) degree. If you think we
are not good enough, blame the American authors of the books that we
use. You are lucky have been in the US before us (assuming that you
are a naturalborn US Citizen)Had you been a foreigner, you wouldn't
stand a chance!

We Filipinos may come from a poor country, but we are rich in culture,
human resources and natural wonders. We may have fools in the
government,...but what the heck they're all over the place. We may
have been plagued by countless coups, inflation, joblessness, poverty
and natural calamities but we are a resilient nation. No matter how
many times we encounter storms in our history, we always bounce back.
So no matter how many people think like you, you don't deter us from
being the best that we can be.We are proud of who we are and we do our
work with pride. How about you Anonymous, are you proud of who you
are?

Ana Paula Aurelio-Acocoro
Class 1994
University of the Philippines
College of Nursing

Nice Read...

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:15 am,
when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's,came in to
have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb.
He stated that he was in a hurry for an
appointment at 9:00am. I took his vital signs and
had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an
hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided,
since I was not busy with another patient,
I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was
well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors,
got the needed supplies to remove his sutures
and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to
engage in conversation. I asked him if he had
another doctor's appointment this morning, as he
was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to
the nursing home to eat breakfast with
his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He
told me that she had been there for a while
and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound,
I asked if she would be worried if he was
a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew
who he was, that she had not recognized him
in five years now. I was surprised, and asked
him. "And you still go every morning, even
though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled
as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know
me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had
goose bumps on my arms, and thought,
"That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has
been, will be, and will not be.

Mushy Stuff in my Mobile Phone...

I had gotten used to the idea of my boyfriend always bringing me home everyday from work. So it was like a "loss" when we did not see each other yesterday. He wanted me to take the MRT instead of taking the bus. But stubborn that I was, I still took the bus. The bus ride was so gloomy and it took me hours. Anyway, I was able to compose a couple of very plain & juvenile poems. Here goes:

Untitled

I
Trip back home was so blue,
travelling alone, after all was nothing new
Such a long, boring trip,
a biting tear wants to creep, I wanna weep
Memories so deep that I cherish,
in my heart they remain I wish
Life has never been the same,
'twas when someone special came.

II
Songs of love hummed in the air,
ignored it, damned I care
Was in my own solitary self,
hearing them never helped
"Everyday I love you" song cuts through me,
foolish thoughts of losing you came flying free
Brushing them off my mind,
uttered a prayer, expecting solace to find.

I even had a third one but I was not able to finish it. Oh, this just came freely in my mind so it was sort of unpolished. Kinda mushy, too.

Erratum...

Based on my January 9 entry on Touring the City are some corrections from Carlos Celdran. This is an email from him:

BIG FAT HAIRY MISTAKES

Im sorry everyone.

I must have been sleepwalking while I was updating my schedule for january and february.

Please note that all tours start at 3:00PM and not 4:00PM.

Please also note the cancelled tours in February.

I am soooooooo sorry for any confusion this may have caused.

Oops.

All the best everyone.
Carlos


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Upcoming Baguio Flower Fest...

I got this email containing information regarding the awaited Flower Festival in Baguio next month. Read on.

ALL IS SET FOR BAGUIO FLOWER FESTIVAL
Manila Times/Tuesday, January 13, 2004
By Ramon Dacawi, Northern Luzon Bureau

BAGUIO CITY—City officials Monday launched the ninth edition of the Baguio Flower Festival and assured rules have been set to prevent the biggest annual crowd-drawing event from being turned into a political circus this election year.

“Aside from the usual preparations, we know we have to contend with the expected arrival of candidates for the chance to project themselves when hundreds of thousands of people are here for the festival next month,” said Councilor and event cocoordinator Edilberto Tene­francia.

The national candidates, from the presidential to the senatorial, will most likely be here on February 21 for the grand
parade and street dancing competition, which are the festival’s main attractions.

Dubbed “Panagbenga” (an Igorot term, meaning a season of blooming of flowers), the February festival drew over a
million people during the grand parade and street dancing last year.

“The bets, together with their retinue of campaigners, will surely be here and we’ll have to prepare protocol and more
effective crowd control measures,” Rep. Mauricio Domogan of Baguio noted.

Mayor Bernardo Vergara, chair of the organizing committee, said the national candidates will be given a frontline position but will have to march as a group during the parade.

So as not to disrupt the parade, however, the candidates will be asked to follow rules like the other regular participants. For instance, they can wave to the throngs of spectators lined-up along the route, but will be advised against breaking their line to shake hands with voters or having their supporters distribute campaign materials.
Tenefrancia said the rules will also apply to local candidates.

Some residents said it would be good to see President Arroyo and rivals Fernando Poe Jr., Panfilo Lacson and Raul Roco
marching together during the parade. Others, however, were apprehensive of a repeat of the scenario six years ago when some senatorial bets were moving up and down Session Road, the city’s main street, to shake hands with voters and gain campaign mileage.

City tourism officer Benedicto Alhambra said candidates who will be late will have to go directly to the Burnham Park,
where the parade will end. He added a special area for them will be reserved at the grandstand.

On top of the usual peace and order measures, the city police chief, Supt. Francisco Manalo, said he will prepare a security plan for the political personalities and wannabes joining the festival.

“We will also have to take measures to be able to spot and prevent pickpockets, petty thieves and bag slashers among
the crowd,” he said. “Based on our experience, the pickpockets are from out of the city who come in with the visitors.”

Some candidates may make their presence during the parade of floats and brass band competition the morning after the February 21 grand parade. Or earlier, during the opening parade on February 1, the fluvial float parade on February 13-14 and the “Pony Boys Day” on February 15. Others may opt to come for the “Let A Thousand Flowers Bloom” on
February 7, when artists, whether budding or established, will capture the festival concept of flowers in bloom in a mass painting competition.

Otherwise, they can register to play in the festival’s national open golf tournament on the same day for a chance to meet potential supporters, map out campaign strategies and forge political alliances with fellow players in the Camp John Hay fairways.

Politicians are also expected during the “Session Road in Bloom” feature, from February 23-29, when crowd is at its
thickest on the main street that will be turned into a promenade area. For the latecomers, there will still be the festival half-marathon, the closing ceremony and a fireworks display, all on February 29.

The closing program, set at 1 p.m. at the city Athletic Bowl, features field demonstrations and will be spiced up by a
silent drill exhibition by the cadets of the Philippine Military Academy.

Logging Off...

I did for a while. After my dad was finished with what he was doing, I took over the house. Armed with a broom and dustpan and dustbin, I swept all the dust, cement, gravel. After which, I mopped the floor. I cannot last a night again with my feet feeling powdery and smooth-slippery. So, I did mop the floor and it is now perfect for sliding. Afterwards, I cleaned the bathroom, took a bath and washed the dishes. To lighten the atmosphere [more like lifting my mood], I lit some incense sticks for the living room and my room. Stupidity knocked in and I had my finger burnt from the matchstick I used in lighting the incense sticks.

In the midst of it all, I got a call from my honey. We were having fun chatting when unexpectedly, it turned not to be fun at all. I know it is my fault but sometimes one just cannot make me agree all the time. I can still keep things for myself. I want to. Hon, I know I had promised that and I am sorry for breaking that promise. I hope you do understand. I will fulfill that promise in time. I know just being with me, you have been trying so hard to understand me. I know you are always in the losing end in this relationship. Sorry, honest.

I know you get upset whenever I drive you away. It has been a nature of mine. A very bad one. I can do away with this attitude in the future. Just give me time.

From my Honey: If you only know how much I love you. Sometimes, I think I love you too much it stings.

I am really sorry and try to make it up with you. Promise.

Good News and Bad News...

I got an email yesterday from my Aunt Myrna telling me that my dear Grandmother is already doing fine. The worst is over and she was already brought home. All of us are praying that she will get better and better. I miss you, Lola Jane!

On the other hand, I felt like crying. This morning, my mom asked me if I can absent myself from work. She is undergoing operation. I said I cannot. Now, that was being so mean. I hate myself. I wish I can disappear from the face of the earth. Sorry, Mom. I hope you can forgive me. Let me work this out with myself and my stupid pride.

Right Now...

I am just lazing around here in the house, basically in front of my reliable desktop. I was supposed to go out to day and have my medical check-up but unfortunately, I woke up late. When I opened my eyes, it was past 10 in the morning already. To think I had decided last night to have a very early morning check-up since I did not make any appointment with the doctor. I was still battling with my mind if I should go and try to finish everything today even though it would take me more time than one would expect. But here I am.

Oh yes! I will be logged on the net for the entire day. So does my boyfriend says. Well, he is checking out this office account he had set-up and he wants me to use it so he can monitor its "performance." A little slow but maybe because of the heavy load of users trying to access the net. Anyway, it is fairly fine with me.

What I will be doing today? Accomplish my workload which I brought home last night; check, reply to my emails, clean my inbox, surf the net, read news, blog-hopping and update my own blog. I am not in the mood to be busy with the household chores. That can wait. Besides, my effort will be useless since a corner of the house is being "renovated and cemented" to give way to the new aircon. Siemai! Magkaka-aircon na ang room namin ni sister ko. It was my younger sister who bought it. She was so bent on having one. I am not so excited. Anyway, she wants it and so does my mom. Or was it because my sister was able to give something more valuable to my mom than I did? To think I receive a bigger salary than she does! Oh, I do not think it is sibling rivalry. I am just as happy for her to do such stuff for my mom. I know she is self-fulfilled by that.


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On Bathing Suits...

I was browsing this site when an article caught my attention. Anyway, let me post it here.

Question: How do you spot a Pinoy at the beach?

Answer: Easy. The Pinoy’s the one frolicking in a dark T-shirt and shorts.

Call it modesty, call it propriety, call it a perverse sense of shame, but you will hardly ever catch a Pinoy baring any skin in the sun or surf. Maybe it is an intense fear of getting dark, or angst about exposing flab, but this is getting ridiculous, folks. When only the little kids are the ones wearing brightly colored swimsuits, while their parents are decked out in enough cloth to rival Mother Teresa, something definitely smells fishy.

"The usual porma for swimming, T-shirt and shorts – you are going to drown in that outfit," chorus Liza and Sawi Puyat. As the creators of SPF swimwear, these sisters dream of providing an affordable, flattering swimsuit for every Pinoy. "It is so sad that we are a tropical country and most of us cannot even afford a bathing suit," says Liza.

SPF stands for "sun, play, fun," which is the perfect acronym when you are offering swimwear, sportswear, and gymwear. It is also perfect because the clothes have built-in sun protection, or UPF (ultraviolet protection factor), which blocks out harmful ultraviolet radiation. "You want to protect your kids," explains Liza, "because not too many people know that UVA and UVB rays cause skin damage, especially if you are under 18."

According to the Puyats, the sunblocking action comes from the fabrics they make their swimsuits with (which have not been treated with chemicals, they stress). The lycra and supplex they import from Asia have been approved by the Australian Radiation Laboratory as having a UPF of 50+, which means excellent protection. The swimsuits are also light and quick-drying ("What Nike calls their ‘dry-fit,’" notes Sawi), so kids won’t feel cold after a dip in the water.

Liza and Sawi take inspiration from their mother Mila T. Puyat, who’s had over 30 years of experience manufacturing and exporting children’s swimwear under the label Seagal. Their clients? Oh, names you might be familiar with, like Nike, Reebok and the Gap. Which means that the sisters had all the family resources at their disposal to start their own venture. For one, they had a wealth of classic swimsuit designs to choose from–all they had to do was pick the materials. Consequently, the store carries a swimsuit for every taste, from the most classic, camouflaging one-piece to the sexiest, briefest two-piece.

"If you are conservative, there is a two-piece tankini that is not too revealing," says Sawi. "If you are a bit more adventurous, there is a shorter top with boy-leg shorts. We also offer the string bikini because that is a classic."

"We do not want to be overly trendy," adds Liza. "We are the ones who can dictate what we want, because we are not following anybody."



By far, the bestseller is their children’s sun suit, a sleek, zip-up one-piece that resembles a diving suit. "We wanted to concentrate first on infants to kids to teens," says Sawi, "and then shortly after opening, a lot of moms and dads started asking, ‘What about us?’" So the owners decided to be a one-stop shop for everyone to get their swimming gear.

SPF provides everything you need for a day at the beach (or gym, or triathlon), from legionnaire’s caps and sun hats to flip-flops, waterproof bags and colored zinc sunblock sticks for kids. Prices range from P300 to P450 for the infants’ and kids’ lines, and P550 to P900 for the teen and adult sizes – half the price of imported brands.

Though admittedly not the sporty type ("Unless you count the gym"), 28-year-old Liza is the entrepreneurial spirit behind SPF. An interior-design graduate from UP, Liza joined the workforce when the Asian crisis hit and no interior-design firms were hiring, so she set about creating a job for herself.

"I wanted to do something other than design, and it just came to me one day–why don’t you sell bathing suits?" she recalls. "There is really a need for local swimwear here that is affordable. We want more people to experience what it is like to be able to own good-looking swimsuits that protect you and that are of good quality."

She tapped her older sister Sawi, 31, a UP graduate in Business Administration who’d worked at Citibank for five years. Sawi had stopped working to care for her daughter, now 2, and now oversees the financial side of SPF. It is apparent that the two are close, being the eighth and ninth in a family of nine kids. They fondly recall Sundays with the family as being "pasyal day," when they had to help the salesgirls at their mom’s Cubao store before going shopping.

If, at their own outlet, you notice that the atmosphere is as colorful and playful as the clothes, that is no accident. Liza designed the store herself, the sunny façade of which has been attracting foot traffic since it opened in Robinsons Galleria’s East Wing in September 2003.

If there is one thing that frustrates this duo the most, it is people pegging their store as "just for kids" because of the bright colors, or "for summer only," which is ironic, considering we all live in the tropics. "Hopefully people will catch on that we do not have seasons like in the States – it is hot and they can swim all year round," says Liza.

Oh, and what about that Pinoy habit of going for a dip in shorts and a T-shirt?

Says Sawi serenely, "That is why we made our stuff reasonable, so people can and should be able to change their bathing suits whenever they want to."

*hmm* Sounds interesting. Bet on it I will check this out. Summer is just a few months away and I am raring to buy a new swimsuit. Hehehe!

New Year’s Resolutions for 2004…

This maybe a little too late for posting this but what the heck!

So what will be my New Year’s resolutions for year 2004? Let me think first. As far as I can remember, I was never straight nor serious about formulating resolutions for the New Year. For me, what will be, will be.

For the record, I had some resolutions in mind. I mentally drafted them with the vow of fulfilling them.

As I went over my mental list, it seemed that year 2004 would not be enough to have them all materialized. But just the same, I would like to include them. I will just be making sure that I will be able to attain a humble, perfect 50%.

1 Learn How to SAVE
Last year, I had realized how worse I had become when it comes to handling money. I overestimated my ability to wisely handling my expenses. I overindulged myself with too much shopping for bags, clothes and books. I will try to hinder myself from indulging too much in travels. I have this tendency of “giving all out” when I travel. I will not use my credit card for 3 months. Hehehe! Gimmicks with pals will be lessened, maybe once every 2 months [kayanin ko kaya?]

2 Try Not to Grow My Fingernails Again
Weird resolution? Hehehe! As I had tried harder for the past 6 months, I would not even think about growing my fingernails again. Longer and polished nails are not for me, as experience had showed me. I am better off with short, clean nails.

3 Will Stop Trying to Please Anybody at Home
Sabi nga nila: “Please everybody and you will end up pleasing nobody at all.” I thought that making too much effort to make your family and home better would make them happy and appreciate you for what you did. Well, it only caused me heartaches, injured my self-worth and ruined my conviction to help them. This may be a bad thing but I will try not to overdo this.

4 Acquiring patience
Patience is never a part of my vocabulary of virtues but I will try to acquire a little ounce of it. I will try not to get irritated nor “wicked” if my thin thread of understanding is being tested to its limit. I will try to “wear” their shoes on and hear them out first.

5 Spend More Time with My Dog
At home, Sakura never fails to put a smile on my lips even during my wicked moods. Sorting my troubled, confused thoughts, Sakura provides me the kind of comfort and peace at home.

Maybe this 5 resolutions will be enough. Quite a combination of real and strange resolutions but they all make perfect sense to me.

Your Egyptian Zodiac...

AMMON - God of Prophets (January 1 to February 2)

Those born under this sign have a sure talent for recognising Mr./Ms. Right the first time they see him/her - for them it's often a matter of love at first sight. When this happens, usually at a chance meeting in public places like shopping malls or restaurants, you can attract him/her by radiating happiness. You'll find it will captivate him/her.

SUCHOS - God of the Sacred Nile (February 3 to March 4)

Better known as the Crocodile god, Suchos guarded the treasures of ancient Egypt. Those born under this sign are attracted by beauty, and ancient wise men warned them not to be blinded by it. "Look beyond an attractive appearance and find the real man beneath" they warned, "Listen to your heart, instead of what your eyes tell you."

OSIRIS - God of Fertility (March 5 to April 9)

If you were born under this sign, don't expect to fall in love at first sight. Those ruled by Osiris need time for love to put down roots in their hearts, but it will grow stronger until it blossoms into a romance that will last a lifetime.

PTAH - God of Truth (April 10 to May 2)

Ptah's people are very sincere and have to be careful to avoid being hurt in romance. You'll find your Mr/Ms Right practically on your doorstep because you've known him/her for a long time. Because he's/she's a down-to-earth type who appreciates sincerity, he'll / she'll be attracted to you sooner or later, so don't be pushy when you recognise him /her.

HORUS - God of Life (May 3 to June 16)

The hawk-headed god rules a fickle sign - those born under it have roving eyes and a passionate nature. Life for them is finding a series of Mr/Ms Rights, and they have no trouble doing it. For true romantic happiness, you need a very strong, steady type of man/woman who can tame your restless spirit and still give you the excitement you crave.

NEPHTAPHIS - - Goddess of True Love (June 17 to July 21)

Beautiful Nephtaphis watches over this most dreamily romantic of all signs. Her children are incredibly loyal to their lovers, and are actually capable of becoming one with them in body, mind and soul. For this reason they have to be careful to choose men/women as caring and considerate as themselves, or they will cruelly be taken advantage of.


SETI - God of Thunder and Lightning (July 22 to August 18)

Like their turbulent guardian, those born under this sign have quicksilver temperaments and have to keep their thermostats lowered if they want their love lives to heat up. You need an even-tempered, understanding type who can put up with your occasional outbursts.

ANUBIS - Protector God (August 19 to September 21)

If you were lucky enough to be born under this sign, you can look forward to life-long romance that will never stop growing. Mr/Ms Right for you is the mystery man type who has a multi-faceted personality and will forever be revealing new and fascinating aspects of himself/herself; thereby continually giving you something new about himself for you to love.


RA - Sun God (September 22 to October 15)

You'll have no trouble finding Mr/Ms Right because you're what every man/woman is looking for - tender, understanding, passionate, and intensely loyal. Men/Women will flock to you, so you can afford to be choosy. Pick the man/woman who is most deserving of the prize you are, and don't look back. Your only fault is a tendency to wonder if you made the right choices in the past, so keep your eyes peeled on the future.

ISIS - Goddess of Miracles (October 16 to November 9)

Those born under the sign of this ancient Egypt's chief goddess have a magic touch. With a smile, they can captivate any man/woman who attracts them. Finding Mr/Ms Right is easy for Isis' sons/daughters - they can spot him/her a mile off and snare him/her with their great charm.

THOTH - God of Light (November 10 to December 3)

Thoth's children have a hard time displaying their feelings, especially the romantic ones. When you meet Mr/Ms Right, show him how you feel - don't keep him/her guessing.

HATHOR - Goddess of Music and the Arts (December 4 to December 31)

Hathor' s children are in love with love. They tend to fall head over heels in love with the first man that shows any interest in them, and they stick to them like glue. Keep a level head and be sure he's really Mr/Ms Right. Your type of man/woman likes harmony, and you have to show him/her that you're the one who can provide it.


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The Dos And Don'ts For All Zodiac Signs

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)

DO'S
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self (but don't try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with an Arien, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities (you can always yawn later!).

DON'TS
Do not tell an Aries that s/he may be wrong. Any such statement may stir a storm in a teacup. Aries are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).


Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)

DO'S
Stability and dependability characterise Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of colour and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.

DON'TS
Taurus do not loose their temper easily (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.


Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humour will get you a permanent residence in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.

DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.


Cancer (Jun 22 - July 22)

DO'S
Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of the Cancer. At one moment they may be laughing and enjoying and in another they may sulk. You may have to adjust with the moody and sensitive Cancer. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating. Cancerians love food, so if you know how to cook and can be poetic and romantic (added Bonus) then you know the way to their heart.

DON'TS
Cancerians are very sensitive people and can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They are like tides that can sweep you along. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Such things hold special meaning to them. You have to realise that the crabs have a soft heart and are vulnerable. Do not contradict their tested line of thought and action, it would only lead to confusion.


Leo (Sep 22 - Oct 23)

DO'S
If you have Leo partner respect him and his majestic manners. Accept the advice of Leo, the lion, as he is the king of the jungle. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be centre of attraction of all eyes (sometimes they can be quiet theatrical too).

DON'TS
Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. Pride, ego and vanity are some of the bags Leo's always carry with them. Do not touch these bags. An authoritative Leo is even more difficult to handle in such circumstances. Leo is a sunny sign so they do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Even if you are crying at heart keep a sunny smile on your lips and then let the lion take charge and remove all worries from your life.


Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)

DO'S
Virgo's are very methodical and have a great sense of duty. Howver, they are blind to their own faults. So, if you have a Virgo partner emphasise more on their qualities. Take keen interest in what they are doing and you will realise that they will go out of their way to help you. Do rely and appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical powers. They can turn even an unsuccessful venture into a success.

DON'TS
Do not push a Virgo into limelight or on the centre stage unless of course they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgo's have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open. So, even if you have the key to their secret skeleton-closet, hide it; do not even admit that you know anything about it. Virgo, the virgins, do not want to tarnish their public image.


Libra (Sep 22 - Oct 23)

DO'S
Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships, so help them maintain that. Venus, the ruling planet, gives them beauty and they have weakness for people who can compliment them about their beauty (you will not have to make an effort to do that anyway). You can help Libra seek union and partnership in life. If you have a Libra partner you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.

DON'TS
Libra is kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. They hate to lose and most probably during an argument may change sides too (remember scales can tilt) and still continue arguing from the other side. Do not push your Libra partner into making decisions. They will keep weighing pros and cons and may still not be able to come to any decision. Have patience!


Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

DO'S
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music of life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover, share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.

DON'TS
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio's have explosive tempers – be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.


Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone – go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.


Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)

DO'S
Capricornians are strong and dependable. Hence, if you want to put your money on anyone it is of course this zodiac sign. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their colour. They set certain standards for themselves in their life and they will always try to maintain those standards. For them social status and image is very important in life.

DON'TS
Do not expect a Capricorn mate to open his/her heart and pour everything to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. People born under this zodiac are very tight-fisted and economical. Do not expect lavish gifts from them and if they do give you any gift (that is very rare) it will have some practical use (no romance please) but that does not mean you will be deprived of anything; on the contrary you will be well provided.


Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 21)

DO'S
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have a very broad outlook of life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarius lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.

DON'TS
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarians are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. Though they are very friendly, do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they never will). They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.


Pisces (Feb 22 - Mar 21)

DO'S
Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding and can understand your feelings then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too, as in your time of need they are sure to help you. Pisces have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on mark. But they can exhaust their physical and mental energies. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover (only in real life it may become a little difficult preposition).

DON'TS
Pisces are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. They are very sensitive and you have to be always careful about their feelings. The fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (even men born under this sign).

Touring the CITY...

I got an email from Mr. Carlos Celdran. In case anyone is interested, kindly contact him.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Please note new starting time and new regular tour.
CARLOS THE TOUR GUY

REGULAR TOUR RATE SHEET
Tour fees:
Php300.00 for adults
Php100.00 for students
Public school students and government employees go free.
Note: Museum fees not included.
For all reservations, directions, or inquiries:
Email: celdrantours@hotmail.com
Text: 0 916 783-1383 text to reserve
Phone: 671-7726

SPECIAL PRIVATE TOUR RATES:
Php2500.00 for a group of five minimum.
Php350.00 per additional person.

TOUR ONE: IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK!

Walking Tour of Historic Intramuros
On its third year, its the most popular tour in the selection and a definite must for beginners in Philippine History.
Take a leisurely afternoon walk along this city's 400 year old walls and take in a humorous analysis of
Philippine art, culture, and society during the Spanish period. Ironically irreverent yet informative.
Meet in front of Manila Cathedral at 4:00PM. Please prepare entrance fees to the Casa Manila Museum.
Php 40.00 for adults
Php 15.00 for students.

Dates:
January 17, 2004 Saturday
February 7, 2004 Saturday
3:00 PM
Starting Point: Manila Cathedral
End Point: San Agustin Church

TOUR TWO: AMERICAN IDOL!
Walking Tour of the Historic Escolta District
Take a Sunday afternoon trip back to the swinging twenties and thirties; back to an era when the Philippines' art, society, culture, and economy were defined by the norms and ideals of our reluctant colonizer,
The United States of America. It's a chance to marvel at Manila's last surviving bits of Beaux Arts and Art Deco architecture as we analyze the past and present ways we've managed this corporation we call Philippines, Inc.
Meet in front of Santa Cruz Church at 4:00PM. Please prepare entrance fees for the Escolta Museum.
Php 50.00 for adults
Php 25.00 for students

Dates:
January 18 , 2004 Sunday
February 8, 2004 Sunday
3:00PM
Starting Point: Santa Cruz Church
Ending Point: Plaza Lawton fronting Manila Post Office Building

TOUR THREE: MARTIAL ARTS!
Walking Tour of the Historic Cultural Center of the Philippines Complex
Its a tour all about the Philippines in the 1970s and the tumultous era of Martial Law, 18 inch bell-bottoms, and
Miss Universe. Its a little bit disco, a little bit New Society, and completely Imeldific. So come take a trippy trip through National Artist for Architecture Leandro Locsins finest buildings as we analyze one of the most exciting periods in Philippine history. No museum fees.

Dates:
January 24, 2004 Saturday
February 21, 2004 Saturday
3:00PM
Starting Point: Figaro Coffee Shop beside the Cultural Center of the Philippines on Roxas Blvd.
Ending Point: The Philippine International Convention Center

TOUR FOUR: ROCKING AVENIDA RIZAL
Walking Tour of Rizal Avenue to Quiapo
Rizal Avenue was Manila's main middle class shopping district until the construction of the LRT (the elevated train system) killed off its businesses. It is now part of Manila Mayor Atienza's Urban Renewal Program and has been rehabilitated as a pedestrian promenade. Some of its historic charm remains and its still the cheapest place in Manila to buy shoes, hardware, and electronics. It will be coupled with a side tour of Quiapo Church, the Bahay Nakpil, and the San Sebastian Church - a hundred year old all steel church completely imported from Belgium - among others. Its a walking tour heavy on the walking part. Dress lightly and wear practical shoes.

Dates:
January 25, 2004 Sunday
February 22, 2004 Sunday
3:00 PM
Starting point: Santa Cruz Church
End point: San Sebastian Church

Please make your reservations via text or email.

Just Nothing...

I was off from work yesterday. Not feeling so well. I am planning to have a medical check-up this Saturday morning. Great!


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I heard popstar Britney Spears got married a few days back. Entertainment section of broadsheets revealed that he and his so-called better-half are now seeking annulment.



I may appear too judgemental but I just cannot help being one. Engaging in marriage in a such a haste is foolish. Too immature to indulge in yourself like that. Forgive me for saying this but "Foolish girl!"


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I was checking my email when I came across L-Ey's. So, that was why you were so busy ha. *hmm* Cute girl that she is. Hope we can all meet her or is it just me who have not met her?! *tampo* *sniff*


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I (including a lot of people) do not want to judge her but sometimes she acts contrary to what she is saying. when her son died last November, she vowed to her dead son that she would stay out of politics. I was surprised when I saw and heard her again focusing the limelight to herself. Such vow, such promise...to the dead, huh?! Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago never ceases to amaze me. She filed her CoC during the last day of filing, keeping people's mind from guessing what position she will be running for. Her press release about her vow: I am returning to politics contrary to my own personal desires. I believe it's a constructive way of dealing with my grief." Ehem!


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Oh well, I was surprised to see a friend of mine included in the Inquirer's Lifestyle section featuring about Technology Forecasts for 2004. I have not known him that much but all I know is he is a well-versed programmer. Way to go, Migs Paraz!


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Ted Failon, who is a broadcaster turned politician will not be seeking re-election as a representative of the first district of Leyte. Well, that was a good thing. Actually, I was disappointed before when I learned that he would for Congress and that I would see les of him in tv as a broadcaster. He was doing such a good job on tv.

Anyway, at least he is now back to his old job, promising more zeal and vigor.


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*okay* While doing my work, once in a while my corporate and personal email accounts are open. Both deleting and replying to urgent & personal stuff. Trying to clean up spammers!

I got an email from my Aunt Myrna [who has been residing in Cali for more than decades now] that my dear, beloved Grandmother Jane is hospitalized in Glendale Adventist Medical Center due to pneumonia. I hope she gets well soon.


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I just finished my lunch of sisig, ginisang sayote and a cup of buco juice. As usual, I was not able to finish such a large serving. As much as I would want to devour them all, I just cannot. No more space.

Now, I am feeling sleepy....*yawn*

This time, I really have to get back to work.

Coffee...

It had always been my saviour from being a sleepyhead since college. Refilling my tall cup with this "aroma-rousing" caffeine, the sleep bug overtaking my senses .

Unfounded Fears, Heartaches and Break-ups

One has to always put the end in mind. But that is not the only significant part of the journey. Keep in mind that when we start any journey, it is always the destination we look at. But once we reach the destination, it's the journey that we will always remember. We should not be too blinded with the destination that we forget to enjoy the trip going there.

Just like in a relationship, you just don't think that you should enter into a relationship because you will already marry the person. You enter into a relationship to get to know the person better and discern if he/she indeed could be that person walking down the aisle with you. You have to spend some time with him/her and find out if the two of you are compatible and could hit it off. You won't know this by not giving the guy/girl a chance. You would not know all these things just by the looks of the guy/girl or your first impression of him/her. Once you are in that relationship, that's the best chance to build on what the two of you already have.

Don't break up with someone just because you don't see yourself with the other person for the rest of your life. Don't jeopardize a possibly wonderful relationship. How would you know that the other person is the right one if you don't give her/him a chance to prove her worth? How would you know that she/he could be the one if you prematurely cut off the relationship because at the moment you don't see yourself sharing the future with her/him? How would you know this if
you don't give her/him the chance?

And I tell you that it will take you a long time (or possibly never) to find another girl/guy like her/him. Remember that it's not everyday that you meet someone who has the magic to let you fall in love!!!

It might be possible that you would still remain as friends. But being "together" opens a lot of possibilities and opportunities that friends do not get. Even if you remain as friends, you would not be as close as before.

The intensity and the same feeling is no longer there. The relationship will no longer be on the same level. We can't predict the future, we just need to hope and to pray for the best and for what is right and believe that's how it will be.

In the movie "Can't Hardly Wait", there was a line in that movie that goes something like this: "Fate takes you just as far. Destiny is when everything falls right into place and its just up to you to make it happen."

Destiny is a mixture of chance and of choice. Its not a thing to be waited. You must make it happen. Don't you feel that everything has already fallen right into place and its up to you to make it happen? Everything is just so right and how would the both of you know if this indeed is fate or "the plan" if you would not give it a try. The only way for you to know is to at least give the relationship a chance and find out for yourselves. Don't miss this chance of finding it out because of some unfounded fears.

At least if you give it a try, you can say that you did your best and you found out for yourselves. Not just based on some fear and apprehension that are just part of the countless possibilities that might happen.If it doesn't work, at least, after many years you would know if the both of you really were meant for each other rather than regret and bear the thought of all the things that might have been? At least you would clear all the "what ifs" and the "only ifs" in the future. It will give the both of you peace of mind.

Would you find it too much of a coincidence that the both of you hit it off so wonderfully. It seemed that you've known each other for so long already though you have not known each other for that long. It seemed that you knew each other from another life. And each of you enjoyed every bit of it. You were like soulmates who finally found each other after a very long separation. You had everything going so well. Everyhting happened as if everything just fell right in place. Would you consider it fate? It's up to you to make it happen. What do you think?

You might say "This is something serious and that I might be making a big mistake and that I would just like to play it cool. No room for ambiguity here. Better, safe than sorry!" Better safe than sorry?! To be honest, in this world we live in, there is not a full proof plan that exist. If you always bear this idea in mind, I don't know if you would eventually find someone. You might just be too scared of the bad things that you would end up missing all the good stuff!

The best that you can do is give the relationship a chance. You can never succeed without even trying. You should always hope for the best. And to hope is to risk pain...or satisfaction. To try is to risk failure but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. To risk nothing is to risk even more. You might be taking the risk of losing the one true thing that really matters to you.

Guarantee that you will be second to none. You would not completely know if she/he may already be the one if you don't give it a try. And it will be more painful to lose someone you love and who loves you more just because you are waiting for the right time. How will you ever know if this is already the right thing at the right time? What if the time is now? When will you really know when the right time is? You cannot love a person too soon for you would never know how soon it will be too late. The greatest injustice love can ever offer is you not loving at the very right time only to find out later that it was the right person.

You've got so much going on right now. You have a lot of things in common. Imagine what you can share for tomorrow. You still have a lot of things ahead of you. Learn about each other together. You come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. And besides, nobody is perfect.

When you truly love someone you don't look for faults. You don't look for answers. You don't look for mistakes. Instead you fight for the mistakes, you accept the faults and you overlook excuses. If you truly love someone, you just don't bail out on the other person because there is something wrong with her. You'll know that it's true love you are having if you are still willing to love that person despite of his or her flaws or infirmities.

The reason you met each other may be of destiny. But if destiny will suggest that you'll live without her, then why live not by destiny but of free will?

Listen carefully to what your heart says, enjoy the feeling of being in love and do not worry too much about how things will work out, do not be afraid to love just because you are afraid to get hurt...


The Art of Letting Go

Why do we have to part ways while the love is there? While the friendship is still bonded? Why do we have to cry when someone bid goodbye? Why do beginning has an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in end?

There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone and promises left unfulfilled!

In a relationship or even in friendship one of the hardest things to do is letting go and saying goodbye. It is hard as breaking a crystal, Coz you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not they who go feel not the pain of parting, it is they who stay behind that suffers because they are left with memories of love and friendship...that never was meant to be and never was...

At the beginning and at the end of any relationship we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone, unfair as it may seems, but that's the way how it goes... that's the drama, the bitter, the sweet and risk of a relationship. After all nothing is constant but change, everything will come to its end, without even knowing when, without knowing how, without knowing why and we have to forget not because we want to but because we must...!!!

In letting go sorrow comes not as a single spy but in a battalion, it seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eyes and every breath you take always remind you of him/her.

It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night...funny how the whole world becomes populated when only one person is missing. Just imagine there are four billion people on earth yet you feel lonely and empty without the other...

I don't know if it is worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills, sparkle with a considerable time and space. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a vital role. Not all wishes come true. Not all love story ends with "And they live happily ever after".

Sometimes we have to part ways because of circumstances beyond our control, we have to suffer if it would mean happiness for another, and we have to cry to temporarily let go of the pain. Every beginning has an end like every dawn has its dark, its something we can't control, and something we have to live up...

Its over he/she is gone, but life has to go on!! Goodbye doesn't mean forever, there will always be a time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony and love will be expressed in solitude, and promises will be fulfilled somewhere, somehow and someday.....!!!!!


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Pay Attention
by Ralph Marston


When you look at the world through the fog of your own worries, your anger, your frustration and impatience, many valuable things will just pass you by, completely unnoticed.

Imagine driving through town while someone is holding a gun to your head. Are you going to notice the new flower shop on the corner? Probably not. Your focus will be on that gun.

Are you holding a gun to your own head, by constantly focusing on what's wrong with your life? Are you so obsessed with your own problems that you don't see the opportunities all around you?

Your attention can be effectively focused on only one thing at a time. Sure you have problems and challenges. Yet what is the point, what is the value of agonizing over them?

Pay attention to what's good about your life. Rather than worrying about what you don't have, seek to make the best of all the good things you do have. There are a lot of things right with your life. Give your attention to them and they will grow.

"Four things to learn in life: To think clearly without hurry or confusion; to love all sincerely; to act with the highest motivation; to trust God without hesitation.


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Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.