Lavender & Coffee Stains

MACAPAGAL EXPOUSES MILITARY COUP PLOT, ORDERS HUNT
INQ7.net with GMA 7 and Agence France-Presse


Palace under heavy guard

PRESIDENT Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo exposed a military plot to overthrow her government and ordered a hunt for up to 60 officers and men involved in the revolt.

The President, who came to power in a military-led popular uprising in January 2001, said on national television that her government was in "full control" of the situation but appealed to the people to be vigilant.

Armed Forces Chief of Staff General Narciso Abaya declared his "full support" for Ms Macapgal and ordered the arrest of 10 junior officers who he said plotted against her government with backing from "between 40-50" fully armed men.

He said the men, the highest ranking of whom are captains, "can do a lot of damage."

Abaya listed the officers as follows:

Lieutenant (Senior Grade) Antonio Trillanes IV, Navy

Lieutenant (Senior Grade) James Layug, Navy

Captain Gerardo Gambala, Army

Captain Laurence Louis Somera, Army

Captain Milo Maestrecampo, Army

Captain Albert Baloloy, Army

1st Lieutenant Lawrence San Juan, Army

1st Lieutenant Florentino Somera, Army

1st Lieutenant Jose Enrico Demetrio Dingle, Army

1st Lieutenant Warren Lee Dagupon, Army



The 54-year-old Macapagal remained at the heavily-guarded Malacañang Palace and was unshaken, her aides said.

Armored military and police vehicles and heavily-armed soldiers barricaded the gates of the palace late Saturday, an Agence France-Presse correspondent said.

Scores of presidential security guards, clad in combat uniforms and armed with assault rifles, searched all vehicles passing through streets around Malacañang and turned away uninvited palace visitors.

Influential Manila Catholic Archbishop Jaime Cardinal Sin called on his flock to protect the President.

Sin is the de facto Catholic Church leader in the Philippines -- Asia's bastion of Catholicism -- where more than 80 percent of the country's 80 million people are practicing Roman Catholics.

Ms Macapagal warned the coup plotters Saturday of severe punishment, describing them as "fugitives from military justice."

She also warned "unscrupulous politicians who exploit the messianic complex of these officers for their naked ambitions."

Ms Macapagal did not identify these politicians but military spokesman Lieutenant General Rodolfo Garcia said supporters of former president Joseph Estrada may be behind the plot.

"We do not want to believe it yet, but there is information which we are verifying that (the plotters) are connected with the Estrada group," he told Agence France-Presse.

He refused to elaborate, saying, "I would not name names at this point."


Estrada denies involvement

In an interview with GMA Network television, Estrada categorically denied any involvement in the plot and said the government was only looking for a scapegoat. He added that he was unable to exercise any control over his followers if they acted on their belief that he remained the legitimate president of the Philippines after he was ousted in a military-backed popular uprising in 2001.

Estrada warned last week of a popular revolt against Ms Macapagal because she had illegally snatched the presidency from him.

Estrada, who is in jail on charges of corruption, insists he is still the president.

Civil society groups, which played a key role in ousting Estrada, gathered at the Edsa Shrine Saturday evening for a peace vigil in the wake of the reported rebellion.

Rumors that a military clique was plotting to overthrow the government had gripped Manila but Macapagal dismissed them last week when she met with a group of disaffected junior officers at a dinner at the Palace.

Military officials are said to have passed on complaints from junior officers over low pay, corruption and inadequate housing facilities for soldiers, and Macapagal had acknowledged the grievances among young military officers.

The Philippines suffered seven bloody coup attempts in the late 1980s, setting back economic development by years.

The United States embassy also backed Arroyo and expressed concern over the revolt.

"The United States is concerned, but we support the legitimate civilian government of the Republic of the Philippines," US embassy press officer Ron Post told Agence France-Presse.

Congressional leaders also condemned the revolt and said the plotters would not find support among "our democratic people," a statement said.

Arroyo is scheduled to deliver her State of the Nation address at the legislature on Monday where she is expected to unveil a package of political, economic, social and electoral reforms.




President gives rebels till 5 PM to lay down arms

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo gave military rebels partially occupying a mall until 5 p.m. Sunday to lay down their arms and authorized the Armed Forces Chief of Staff to employ "reasonable force" if the rebels did not comply.

The armed soldiers accused by the government of plotting a coup early Sunday took over a portion of the Ayala shopping center in the Makati financial district and set up explosives around the area.

Australian ambassador Ruth Pearce was among a group of foreign officials and residents trapped overnight in an apartment building in the area before being allowed to leave in buses on Sunday morning.

Surrounded by pro-government troops, the rebels demanded that President Gloria Arroyo and her cabinet step down, accusing them of breeding corruption and sponsoring terrorism, charges dismissed by the administration.

But Macapagals's National Security Adviser Roilo Golez and Defense Secretary Angelo Reyes said the government was prepared to negotiate an end to the siege.

The group of about 20 junior officers and 50 men, many said to be elite unit commanders and explosives experts, occupied the mall and were seen booby-trapping their perimeter.

They took action hours after President charged on national television that the soldiers attempted a coup against her administration. She ordered their arrest and vowed the "maximum" penalty for them.

The mall covers shopping complexes and high-rise apartment blocks, one of which was occupied by expatriates, including the Australian ambassador and several other Australian officials as well as French, Malaysians and Americans, among others.

Several armed mutineers set up sniper nests on top of the Oakwood apartment complex where the expatriates are living. The rebels had earlier given assurances they would evacuate those living or trapped in the area.

One of the leaders of the group, identified as Navy Lieutenant Senior Grade Antonio Trillanes, said: "We mean no harm to anyone." "We are putting these (bombs) to defend ourselves."

"They (the government) are putting a death warrant on us," he said, adding, "they want to suppress what we know."

Eyewitnesses and reports said the soldiers opened fire on a truck after it ignored a roadblock around an area they had occupied.

In a statement issued to news agencies, the mutineers identified themselves as "the Magdalo group," a name similar to one used by a band of Filipino revolutionaries who fought Spanish colonial rule in the 19th century.

Trillanes was among 10 of the officers who were identified as being part of the plot, all of them under 32 years of age.

The rogue soldiers, standing in a row against a red flag with a white sun symbol, made their stand in a video statement aired on television.

They wanted the government disbanded and called for what they called a "national recovery program" but did not give details.

The United States expressed its support for Macapagal and warned there would be "immediate negative consequences" to bilateral relations if the coup succeeded.

Interior and Local Government Secretary Jose Lina charged ex-military coup plotter-turned opposition senator Gregorio Honasan with involvement in the coup attempt.

Honasan, a former army colonel, popularly known as "Gringo", led two of the seven bloody coup attempts in the 1980s but was pardoned under a peace deal after which he entered politics.

Honasana denied the charge and said he had no links to rebel group.

The rogue soldiers on Sunday accused the government of selling ammunition and weapons to local Muslim separatist and communist rebels and blamed it for a series of deadly bombings this year in the southern Philippines.

The group also accuse Macapagal of planning to declare martial law in August, by using a series of bombings in the capital as the pretext to stay in power after her term ends in 2004.

Golez and Reyes denied the charges, labeling them "ridiculous."

The President, who came to power in a military-led popular uprising in January 2001, said Saturday that the rogue forces wanted to seize power but insisted her government was in "full control" of the situation.

Security was beefed up at the presidential palace with armed guards ringing the perimeter of the compound. Other key installations have been secured.

Military chief of staff General Narciso Abaya said he "fully supported" Macapagal, who had vowed not to contest in the presidential polls in May.

Rumours that a military clique was plotting to overthrow the government gripped Manila last week but Arroyo dismissed them when she met with a group of disaffected junior officers at her palace.

Junior military officers have complained of low pay, corruption and inadequate housing facilities for soldiers.

Lieutenant Senior Grade Antonio Trillanes IV

I got this email from my inbox. I wonder how many and how long this will go.



LIHAM PARA KAY LT SG ANTONIO TRILLANES IV

Mahal kong Lt. SG Antonio Trillanes IV,

Magandang umaga. Nawa'y maigi ang iyong kalagayan d'yan sa stockade. Magpahinga ka muna bago ka humarap sa court martial. Hindi bale nang litisin ka, nakapag-stay sa naman sa Oakwood, samantalang kami, pinaasa mong walang pasok ngayon. KJ ka talaga.

Sinulat ko ang liham na ito para puriin ka sa iyong kagitingan na ipaalam sa buong sambayanang Pilipino ang kabulukang nangyayari sa ating gobyerno.

Mabuhay ka.

Ang problema nga lang, alam na namin lahat iyon, Kapitan Trillanes. Hindi na ninyo kailangan pang magtanim ng bomba at magpapogi sa inyong mga fatigues para lang ipaalam sa buong madla na may mga katiwalian sa gobyerno.

Hindi tuloy ako nakapanood ng Terminator 3, eh malapit nang mawala sa sine 'yon. Okay sana kung nagbakbakan kayo ng mga sundalo ng gobyerno. Mala-THE ROCK saka DIE HARD sana ang nangyari. Kaso, nagsisisigaw lamang kayo sa lobby ng Oakwood. Para ano pa ang inyong mga armband? Sabagay pwede na kayong magtayo ng boutique na ang brand name ay Magdalo. Pwde kayong magtinda ng mga armbands, fatigue-inspired pants, caps at shades. Ipwesto nyo dyan sa Oakwood para strategic ang location at may sentimental value pa. Bebenta kayo, promise. Sa launch ng inyong boutique, pwede kayong maglagay ng mga bomba sa parking lot tapos magpaparty kayo doon. Masaya di ba?

Mabalik tayo sa layunin ng liham na ito. Yung sinasabi mong nagbebenta si Secretary Reyes ng bala sa mga rebelde, aba, lumang balita na 'yan. Alam na naming mga ordinaryong tao yan. Bakit? Kaugalian na nating mga Pilipino ang mag-sideline di ba? Sa opisina nga namin may nagtitinda ng tsinelas, beads, tocino, tapa, muffins saka bags.

Eh hayaan mo nang magbenta si Secretary Reyes ng bala sa kanila, baka gawang Taiwan lang naman yung mga bala na 'yon. Mahirap buhay eh, magkano lang naman sweldo ni Secretary Reyes. Malamang lumilihis yung mga bala o kaya puro supot.

Yun namang sinasabi mong si GMA ang nag-utos ng pambobomba sa Davao, alam na rin naming mga Pilipino 'yon. Kaw naman, Kapitan Trillanes, sa pagka-tsismoso nating mga Pilipino, sino ba naman hindi nakakaalam na gobyerno gumagawa ng mga kalokohang 'yon? Plaza Miranda, Jabidah Massacre, pagpatay kay Ninoy, Rizal Day bombings, at kung anu-ano pang kababalaghan, alam na naming gobyerno gumagawa. Hindi naman kami istupido noh! Sabi nga ng mga taga-Assumption, "We're not like tanga naman..."

Ang drama-drama mo masyado, eh kami namang mga ordinaryong tao tinatawanan na lang mga katiwalian sa gobyerno. May linya ka pang "we're ready to die for our principles." Huuu...if I know, gusto mo lang magpa-spa sa Oakwood kasi sira na ang iyong kutis dahil sa kagat ng lamok sa Basilan. Dapat sinabi mo na lang sa akin, may murang spa dyan sa Quezon Avenue, may "extra" pa.

Ayan tuloy, nagsara Glorietta ng isang isang araw. Lagot ka, milyon nalugi sa mga Ayala. Baka pabayaran lahat sa 'yo yan. At saka naman Kapitan Trillanes, next time kayo magta-take over ng anumang lugar, 'wag naman sa mall. Hindi bagay sa inyong mga fatigues and armbands. Sino ba scriptwriter ninyo? Tsugiin! Mali ang location ng action! Ni walang symbolic o strategic meaning ang Oakwood.

Hindi kayo nanood ng THE ROCK ano?

Hay nako, may pasok tuloy ngayon. Nabitin kami. Pogi points ka pa sa mga girls kasi ang guapo mo sa fatigue. Yun nga lang, you didn't die for your principles. May paiyak-iyak and hug pa kayo. Kaya kayo tinatawanan ng Abu Sayyaf, malalambot ang puso ninyo, madrama kayo masyado. Ganyan ba kayo sa Basilan? 'Pag rat-ratan na, nagyayakapan
na lang kayo at umiiyak? God, it's so nakakahiya naman to the enemy.

Hay nako, Kapitan Trillanes, mag-direct ka na lang ng pelikula ha? Tingin ko mas magaling ka pa kay Ang Lee kasi militar ka talaga. Maganda yung mga subplots na naisip mo. Maganda rin yung mga dialogue mo. 'Pag nag-direct ka na ng movie, make sure may bakbakang matindi sa huli. Yung tipong mawawarak yung buong building. Yun, mas exciting, hindi yung katulad kahapon.


Nagmamahal,
Ang iyong tagahanga




SERYOSONG SAGOT SA LIHAM PARA KAY LT SG ANTONIO TRILLANES IV

Sana nga, ganun lang kasimple 'yun at ganun kadali pagtawanan. Pre, naranasan mo na ba makitang patayin ng kaaway ang isa mong kaibigan? Kung hindi ka NPA, malamang, hindi. Naranasan mo na bang pumatay? Mas mabigat ito. Yung kaibigan na namatay, lilipas din ang sakit noon. Pero yung taong pinatay mo, baka di mo malimutan habangbuhay.

Alam mo ba kung paano makipaglaban ang mga Scout Rangers? Kadalasan, dala ng pangangailangang masorpresa ang kaaway, kailangan mong gamitan ng bayoneta ang tanod sa kampo ng rebelde na lulusubin nyo. Kung naaalala mo pa ang bayonet training mo sa ROTC, di biro pumatay sa pamamagitan ng bayoneta. Mararamdaman mo ang laman ng taong pinapatay mo. Makikita mo pa ang mukha niya habang unti-unti siyang namamatay - makikita mo ang pagkabigla, pagmamakaawa, at ang pagkalungkot sa mukha niya habang nari-realize niya na mamamatay na siya.

Alam mo kung kanino ko ito natutunan? Sa isang miyembro ng RAM na trainor namin sa ROTC (yun ang parusa sa kanila, nademote at inilagay sa harmless na positions sa NCRDC). Alam mo, pre, aktibista ako nung college at meron akong natural aversion at pagkainis sa mga RAM. Tingin ko sa kanila mga Marcos loyalists at Gringo boys na disgruntled dahil di sila nabigyan ng sapat na recognition at reward nung 1986. Pero dun sa 32 days na ROTC training ko sa Fort Bonifacio, natutunan ko ring irespeto ang mga trainors namin. Di naman pala lahat ng RAM/YOU members e mga bobong Gringo fans. At higit sa lahat, natutunan ko sa kanila na di pala "glorious" ang giyera (pangarap ko maging NPA commander dati e).

Akala ko, para sa mga Scout Rangers at sa iba pang mga sundalo, sisiw ang labanan at ang sarap manalo sa labanan. Hindi pala. Doon sa bayonet training namin, inamin nung trainor na yung unang taong pinatay niya sa pamamagitan ng bayoneta, naaalala niya palagi ang mukha at di siya pinatulog ng ilang buwan.

Alam mo pre, tao rin yang mga yan, katulad natin. Mahilig ding makinig ng mga kanta ni Noel Cabangon. Yung trainor namin, si Capt. Flordeliza, narinig ko pa minsan kumakanta ng kanta ng "Asin" - Cotabato.

Di biro itaya ang buhay para sa bayan. At lalong di biro kumitil ng buhay "para sa bayan". At kapag narealize mo na itinaya mo ang buhay mo, at kumitil ka ng buhay para sa mga layuning taliwas pala sa interes ng bayan, pagkatapos mong bangungutin at lahat dahil sa mga kaibigan mong namatay at sa mga "kaaway" na pinatay mo - di ka ba maiinis at kukuha ng M-60 at mag-rarambo? Kung tutuusin, napakaayos pa nga ng ginawa nila Trillanes.

Ewan ko sa inyo, pero ako, kahit na di naman ako nagbuwis ng buhay at di naman ako pumatay, medyo naiintindihan ko ang pagkabuwisit ng mga sundalong ito. Naalala mo ba ang mga sakripisyong hiningi sa atin ng dot-com employer mo? Tapos wala namang kinahinatnan? Ano naramdaman mo nung narealize mo na balewala lahat ng pagpapagod at pagpupuyat?

Ako, naka-tatlong palpak na dot-com at isang palpak na startup ako. Buti ako, meron naman akong naipong IT skills in the process na magagamit ko para bumangon muli. E itong mga sundalong ito, ano ang saysay ng naipon nilang karanasan sa pagpatay?

Pangalawa, pre, paalala lang, di imposibleng totoo ang mga bintang nitong mga sundalong ito. Kung babalikan natin ang kasaysayan, may gumawa na nito 30 years ago. Na-trace na ba kung saan nakakuha ng C-4 ang mga teroristang nangbomba sa Davao? Sa pagkakaalam ko kasi, di madali makakuha ng C-4, at AFP lang dapat ang meron nito sa Pilipinas. Kung "nanakawan tayo" ang palusot, may nag-imbestiga ba kung bakit ganun tayo kadali manakawan?

Hinay-hinay sa pagbibiro, pre. Dahil di na nakakatawa kung totoong pinaglalaruan ng mga pulitiko ang buhay at kamatayan - literally - ng mga Pilipino.

Kung ipinasa nyo sa mga kaibigan nyo yung open letter na nakakatawa, sana ipasa niyo rin ito.


Radamanthus Batnag




LIHAM MULA KAY LT SG ANTONIO TRILLANES IV

Sa aking mga kababayan:

Ako'y natutuwa sa inyong pagdamay sa akin, sampu ng aking mga kasamahan sa military. Nakakatuwa ang mga pangyayari nitong nagdaang Linggo, at sana naman ay naging unique naman ang inyong panoorin. Nakakasawa din naman ang SOP at ASAP. Tingnan nyo naman at pareho silang replay.

Ang tanging hiling ko lang sana ay magkaroon kami ng drama anthology na pagbibidahan namin ni Jolina at Judy-Ann. Pareho ko kasi silang crush. Sana naman ay mayroong magkainteres na director sa aking acting ability. Wala pa akong formal acting workshop niyan ha!


Kung di man ako magkaroon ng showbiz career, puede ko rin namang ipagpapatuloy ang aking nasimulan sa aking thesis. Sa totoo lang, mayroon pa akong 100 na thesis na gusto sanang ipagbili sa Recto. Dahil meron na rin naman akong media mileage, palagay ko naman ay mataas na sa singkuwenta pesos ang bentahan ngayon ng mga thesis ko, di ba?

Nais kong ipahatid ang aking katuwaan at kaligayahan sa mga suhestiyon niyo tungkol sa pagnenegosyo. Matagal ko na talagang iniisip ang fashion designing bilang career. Wala pa kasing militar na naging fashion consultant. Puede na ba ang "Magdalo's Fashion and Beauty Center?" Sana naman ay mabigyan nila ako ng business space diyan sa Rustan's para naman malapit-lapit din sa Oakwood -- nagkaroon na kasi ng sentimental effect ang lugar na yan para sa akin.

Sa aking mga kapatid sa military, inaanyayahan ko kayo na magsimula na ring mag-isip ng inyong mga gimik. Marami pa akong thesis na naisulat ---- coup de' etat sa Enchanted Kingdom, military take over sa Music Museum o kaya nama'y pag-aaklas sa Splash Island. Siguraduhin niyo lang na pagdating ng 5:00pm ay handa na kayong magsisigaw ng "Joke!
Joke! Joke!"

Muli ay nagpapasalamat ako sa inyong pagsubaybay sa aking military, at marahil, sa aking movie career. Aasahan ko ang inyong pagsuporta.


Umaasa,
Lt. SG Antonio Trillanes IV




SAGOT SA LIHAM NA KUMALAT KAHAPON

Sa tagahanga na gumawa ng liham para kay Lt.SG Antonio Trillanes IV. Naway nasa maganda ka ding kalagayan habang binabasa mo ang liham na ito.

Sinulat ko ang liham na ito para puriin ka sa kabobohan mo at katangahan mo. At pagbubulag-bulagan mo sa nangyayari sa bansa natin.

Nakuha mo pang gawing katawa-tawa ang mga nangyayari ngayon. Sa bagay dyan tayo kilalang mga pilipino. Tawanan lang ang problema ok na, next time na lang ulit.

Oo medyo may pagka gago at katangahan ang ginawa ng mga sundalo doon pero di mo ma-ipagkakaila na may mga seryosong issue na muling bumulaga sa isipan ng maraming tao.

Alam mo na palang lahat ang nangyayari noon pa, eh ano ang ginawa natin, sumulat ng liham at gawing katawatawa ang nangyari at ikalat sa email para lahat ng pinoy sa buong mundo ay masiyahan man lamang at makalimutan panandalian ang matagal na palang problema ng bayan?

Saludo ako sa iyo dahil kung sa tingin mo ay tanga at gago ang ginawa ng mga sundalo, eh mag-isip ka di kaya ikaw ang mas-gago at bobo?

Oo nga nag sisisigaw lang sila sa oakwood pero ikaw may ginagawa ka ba sa matagal mo na palang alam na problema ng bayan?

Palibhasa hindi ka siguro nakatira sa Mindanao at hindi mo nararamdaman at nararanasan ang mawalan ng lupa, tirahan at mahal sa buhay. Patuloy nating kinukutya ang mga kapatid nating muslim sa Mindanao. Bat hindi natin sila subukan kilalanin at pag-aralan ang

kanilang relihiyon na ating tinatawanan at minamaliit. Kung tawagin pa nating mga PAGANO (sumasamba sa diyos-diyosan) hindi ba natin ginagawa ang mga bagay na yun?

Oo nga pala kung sa tingin mo ay malalambot ang puso ng mga sundalo. Yyan dapat matuwa ka pa kasi kung Abu Sayaf yan malamang napugutan ka na ng ulo. Tandaan din natin galing sa gulo sa Mindanao, (kung saan alam mo na pala na gobyerno ang nag umpisa) ang mga sundalong ito alam nila ang pakiramdam ng taong pumapatay at makakita ng taong pinatay kaya wag mong i-small-lin ang mga taong ito.

Malamang sabihin ng iba na masyado akong seryoso, matanda na, walang sense of humor etc. Maaari rin nga na tumatanda na ako kaya ganito ako mag-isip. Pero malamang din ang iba sa inyo na nagbabasa nito ay mga magulang na, may mga nakakababatang kapatid at pamangkin.

Bat hindi natin isipin na ano na lang ang mangyayari sa kanila kung tayo ay wala na? Yan na lang ang kaya natin ipamana sa kanila ang magyabang, malaking bahay, magandang kotse, mag patawa sa malaki at eryosong problema, mag paligsahan, pagalingan, padamihan ng pera, atkung sino ang may kapangyarihan?

Kawawa naman ang mga sanggol na hindi pa ipinanganganak, Batang tatanda at papalit sa atin. Sabagay paniwala nga naman natin na madadala natin ang mga yaman na yan sa kabilang buhay, hindi ba?

May awa din ang Diyos magkikita kita din tayo at pare-pareho tayong hinuhusgahan, hindi sa yaman, lakas, karunungan at puwesto sa lipunan kundi sa ating ginawa habang tayo ay buhay pa. Ang corny pakinggan di ba? Pero paki-usap ko sa inyo mag isip tayo ng malalim. Binigyan tayo ng talino para d lang gamitin sa kagaguhan ang ating isip. Sayang naman ang regalo sa iyo.

Magna Cum Laude, engineer, doctor, lawyer, immigrant sa ibang bansa ka nga bastos at walang modo ka naman. Naka neck tie ka nga magara ang sasakyan, maganda ang bahay, magandang asawa sampu ang seksing batang kabit, wala ka na mang pakialam sa ibang nasa paligid mo o anong mga nangyayari sa bayan mo. Mas gugustuhin ko pa ang mga taong nag-hihikahos at mukang busabos makakain lang ng 3 beses isang araw pero malinis ang kalooban.

Sana naman magising na tayo? Hindi ba kayo napapagod sa paulit-ulit na nangyayari sa buhay nating mga pilipino. Oo nga pala enjoy tayo pag may nang yayaring ganito sa bayan natin, sorry nakalimutan ko!



Nagmamahal,
Ang taong may malasakit sa kapwa tao

Kape, Trabaho, Hapunan atbp...

Gaya pa rin ng sinauna, ang kape ay isang inuming kung ihahambing ay parang tubig na lamang para sa akin. Sa totoo lang nililimitahan ko na ang paglagok ng aking paboritong inumin. Masama daw yun sa aking kalusugan. Noon, hindi ko na alintana ang gayong isipin. Mula nang makaniig ko si Starbucks @ Seattle's Best, wala akong naging pakialam sa sasabihin ng sino man. Ang mahalaga, maligaya ako sa pagnamnam at paghigop ng nakaka-adik at nakaka-hyper na inuming ito.

Bilang pagsisimula sa pag-aalaga sa aking kalusugan, sinumpa ko sa aking patay na kuko sa paa na malilimitahan na lang sa isa o dalawang tasa ang aking iinumin. Siempre, walang kinalaman kung gaano kalaki pa ang tasa na aking gagamitin. Isang tasa pa rin ang bilang nun. Tinutukoy ko dito ay hindi simpleng tasa. Isang kulay asul na "travel mug" ang lagi kong kapiling sa tuwing hinahanap-hanap ng sistema ko ang nicotine ng kape. Kung tatantiyahin, dalawa (2) at kalahating tasa ang katumbas ng aking "travel mug." Sa madaling salita, dalawa at kalahating tasa ng kape ang aking tinutungga sa mga oras na ito.

Dahil sa kinakailanganin ko ngang gisingin ang natutulog kong diwa, tinira ko ang napakasarap na kapeng ito. Tambak pa ang aking gampanin sa araw na ito. TGIF nga, hindi ba? Kailangan kong tapusin ang mga bagay-bagay na may kinalaman sa aking hanapbuhay upang sa pagsapit ng Lunes, maalwan ang aking kalooban habang sinisimulan ko ang bagong bukas.

Datapwat sa aking palagay, hindi ko lahat matatapos ang lahat ng ito. Isa lang naman ang ibig sabihin non. Kailangan kong magbitbit at mahalukipkip na naman ng mga papeles at dokumento sa aking pag-uwi. Isang kalahating araw na naman ang iuukol sa pagtapos ng inuwing gawain. Hay buhay!

Kailangan ko na pala magligpit at mag-ipis ng aking mesa. Kailangan ko na ilagay sa ayos ang kaguluhang tumatakip sa salamin ng akong mesa. Alin ba dito ang kailanga kong itabi? Alin naman dito ang kailangan kong iuwi? Kaiangan ko nang mag-ayos. Ilang minuto mula ngayon ay darating na si Dex upang ako ay sunduin. Araw-araw na walang palya niya ako sinusundo dito sa tanggapan at ihahatid nang matiwasay sa aking tahanan. Subalit, may napagkasunduan kami na dumalo muna sa isang paanyaya ng isang mabuting kaibigan. Mula sa Makati ay didiretso na kami tungo sa Quezon City. Ang hapunan ay magaganap sa isang bar/restaurant sa Timog. Ang ngalan ng nasabing restaurant ay Moomba. Narinig ko na sa kung saang lupalop ang lugar na iyon. Ngunit, hindi ko na rin masasabi kung saan dahil baka ako ay nagkakamali lamang. Kung matatandaan, nasabi ko na nang minsan na ako ay tunay na walang alam sa mga bagay na iyan. Mahina ang aking tinatawag na "sense of direction." Hahaha!

Naisip ko lang kung kumusta na sila. Napakatagal na rin naming hindi nagtatagpo. Malamang mauubos na naman ang aming oras sa walang tapos na chikahan. Sana super-masaya?!

Torete...

Hay naku! Ang ginaw na naman dito sa aming tanggapan. Ako ay tunay na nangangatog sa kaibuturan ng aking kalamnan at buto-buto. Kahit ano ang gawin kong pagbalot sa sarili, tunay nga na nagpapahiwatig na ako ay tumatanda na. Dati naman kasi kaya ko ang lamig. Ang matinding lamig ay parang normal na temperatura lang sa akin. Natatandaan ko pa nga na sabi ng aking mahal na Ina na ako talaga ay tunay na taong-bundok. Daig ko rin daw ang hayop na centipede.

Sa totoo lang, walang kaso kung malamig ang paligid o hindi. Ngunit kung ito ay nagsisilbing hadlang para magampanan ko ang mga bagay-bagay, ito ay isang suliraning malaki. Sa halos 3 araw na lumipas, ako ay tunay na napaka-abala sa aking tungkulin bilang tagapagsaliksik. Hindi na nga ako magkandaugaga kung ano ang uunahin. Akin ngang natatarok ang mga tinatawag na "immediate" at "urgent " at "important." Hindi naman lingid sa akin kung alin ang dapat unahin pero ang siste, lahat sila dapat kong unahin dahil lahat din sila ay mahalaga.

O siya, ako aya kailangan nang humayo at magpakadami! Este, Humayo at magtrabaho at dumadami ang aking gampanin.

Pangako, ako ay magbabalik!

REDEFINING FRIENDSHIPS

I suppose it is high time I wrote to sort through my melancholic thoughts. Yes, I am happy for the most part of my life. I am able to go through the things I enjoy doing because I want them: Photography, kung fu, writing, and yes, even work. Somehow, there is a tinge of sadness clouding a part of my soul. I thought I have my life all figured out but I suppose there still is a part that is yet to be fine-tuned.

I feel like the events of the past weeks were out from a badly written screenplay. Maybe after all this, I will come out as an experienced screenwriter. I do not know, just a thought and a little bit of humour to keep my spirit from sagging to the ground. The hurt and the pain I have caused is killing me. I try to be a loyal friend and a grateful daughter yet I feel that I have betrayed so much by not providing the necessary answers; answers to satisfy a hungry heart. Not to sound overly dramatic but dammit, this is affecting every inch of my being. I cannot smile, I cannot eat, I cannot get a good night's rest knowing in the back of my head that people are hurting because of me. And it's all because of this so-called love.

I have first come to love him as a friend. At a later point in my life, I have come to love him more than that. I was happy upon this realization and I am sure he was, too. Promises were exchanged and the belief of fulfilling them was an actuality. I had planned my life around him rather than with him. I spent countless hours with him talking about goals and dreams but never really talked about "us". It hurt but I continued to love. I continued to love even if most of our conversations were about people who made such a huge impact on his life. I searched his eyes but could not find me there. One can only love and bear so much pain.

I just cannot ignore the stabbing pain of knowing I am with someone whose soul I cannot touch, much less get a peek of. There were nights where I would either cry myself to sleep or wake up crying. It tore me but I learned to pick up the pieces. I need to find my smile again.

I pray that after the pain has gone, we would end up in the same point where we have started: As friends. I feel like I cannot give anything more than this.

"The promises we made seem easier then As if we knew our love would never end But seasons change and time erases the tears As swiftly as the ripples disappear."

Right now...

Currently, I am logged on here in front of my pc, typing the blues away the heavy downpour is giving me. Honestly, the rain gives me a kind of gloom too hard to fathom. It restricts not only my physical being but as well the entirety of being me.

I cannot seem to remember the happenings that transpired the past few days of my life. That means I have to let the days pass and forget about each day. *I wonder if I am experiencing amnesia or am I getting older?*

Since it is already past 3 am in the morning, I might as well refer it yesterday. Well, I did not report for work yesterday since I was stranded on my way to the office. Since Monday night, the rain never stopped from showering and splashing the whole metropolis. I knew there was a typhoon but I wasn't so sure at all if it was Typhoon "Gilas" or "Harurot" who is creating wet havoc in the metro. Despite the seemingly invitation, the weather teases me not to rise up from my comfy bed, I shook up myself with the conviction that I have to report for work since I have load of work stuff to accomplish. But to my frustration, it didn't end up that way. I stayed in the house, isolated myself from everyone and worked on my own.

I volunteered to wash the the pile of dishes in the sink. I missed doing this chore for quite a time. This is an all-time fave household chore that I never get tired of doing when I was in high school. Whenever I wash the dishes, I always have another thing to do while I accomplish this very enjoyable task. Either I am doing heavy thinking about school, boys, a lab experiment, a friend's dilemma, certain decisions, about life, etc. OR I am reviewing for tomorrow's chemistry/physics exam, a quiz bee or a recitation/exam for my Chinese language class. After finishing this chore, I will always find myself accomplished and assured that I will be doing great the next day. Pretty weird, huh!

Afterwards, I mopped clean the kitchen floor it was stinking slippery when i got there. Damn! I was pretty contented when I finished it. I decided to sweep the entire house of dust and trash. Afterwards, mopped it clean as well. Not much of a daunting task but it made me a little satisfied of doing a productive output for the day.

After resting and chatting for a few minutes with someone, I went back to my room and slept the rain blues away. I woke up a few minutes before 7 in the evening. When I woke up, I heard an unfamiliar voice in the house. I wondered whose guest it was. I took a peep in the slightly opened door to my room. So it was my youngest brother's girlfriend. *hmm* I had the gut feeling she will be staying [as usual] for the night. She usually does whenever she and my brother have to beat a deadline for a paper or whatever school paper it might be.

Oh anyway, my mom told to take my dinner so I did. Everyone had dinner except for me and my younger sister who was still sleeping. [She just got back from her CPA review class] What I saw in the dining table made me feel hungrier than I ever thought I was. I was wondering who will be drinking, who will be coming then. "Sinigang, sisig, tortang talong and tocino." I had a bigger bite of the first 3 dishes - they are my faves after all. I lavishly tasted and bit my food. Yummy!

After dinner, I decided to {work my butt off OR should I say, stretch my tummy straight} since I am still full. For the nth time around, I started on the countless pictures and negatives that were scattered in my bed. These were photos that I have taken for the past 5 months of my travels and other escapades.

I tried to file and document the photos accordingly. Same goes for the negatives. I was revved up as I went along the task. At first, I found it easy trying to match which photo goes with what set. But as I go along, the task wore me on. I still have a couple of used films to bring to the photoshop and have them developed as well as negatives for recopying to be given to the desired recipients. Despite the setback, I still forced myself to finish everything. I was able to but there were some loops to fix.

After keeping those photos and negatives, I tidied my bed. The sports bags and the "kikay" ones that graced my already warlike-area-bed were now cropped up in one corner. Papers and stationeries and books were piled up at the other side.

Everything that was messed up before was now a picture of a tidy and neat nook. I was happy with the result. Somehow, it made my bed a little neat and gave me a much bigger space to stretch on when I sleep.

Afterwards, I lazily lie in my spacious bed, composed a few lines for a poem and wrote a letter. I was doing this while I was waiting for my brother to finish doing his stuff in the computer. By past 2 in the morning today, he was done and ready to go on a slumber.

I logged on the NET and did what I have to do. I checked my 2 email accounts and read and replied and forwarded and deleted and removed spammers. On the side, I surfed for new interesting sites and updated my blog. While waiting for those web pages to download, I had research papers to read. While my eyes read on and my mind absorbs everything, I had my ears hooked up listening to Bon Jovi {compiled songs in a CD}.

So much for multitasking!

Blog update...

Mawning! I am not up to posting yet. I still have some other stuff loaded inside this heavy head of mine. Maybe later. All I can think of is fixing my bed messed up with photos that I have taken ever since I developed such a keen interest in photography. Damn! I have to finalize everything before I join that match! Sheesh!

I almost forgot! I have to fix that darn birth certificate. Of all things!!!

What I need right now is a bottled...

For my old dependable pals, high school and college pals, colleague pals, outdoor league pals, Pexer pals...

Mawninger, Dex...

Inspire...(3)

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself." - Lucille Ball

From Friday to Wednesday...

I am not feeling well yet. My eyes are still playing tricks with me and I want to curse my nose for nonstop sneezing. I have no plans of letting anyone catch the virus I am "propagating."

Last Friday, I took an off from work. I filed a one-day leave since I have to take a diagnostic exam for my language class. It was scheduled @ 10 in the morning. I was so anxious and disoriented the morning I woke up. Why? Because I went over my language book [10 chapters all in all] for a review. I started at 12 midnight and slept at 3 in the morning. Skipping school for 6 months made me forget all the things I have learned. I was planning not to sleep so I can have a last few hours review. But then, I have been experiencing this throbbing headache since Tuesday. I have no choice but to sleep the rest-of-the-morning away. When I woke up, the sun was already blazing hot in the horizon. I had to hurry.

While everyone in the house was in a hurry and flurry, I was sitting in one corner of the house, with my book in one hand and a pen on the other, trying to work out my mind to focus on what I was doing. I knew I was too agitated to study since I was only able to scan the 2 chapters of the book Thursday midnight. I skipped checking the other chapters and targetted Chapters 10 and Chapter 8 the moment my eyes opened.

Anyway, to cut the story short, I arrived at the school an hour after my scheduled exam. Yes! I was late. To add another rucksack to my already escalating mental and emotional load, the one administering the exam was the principal. I know she is a good teacher but I find her a little snob.

My right hand was wobbling as I went through writing my answers in the reply sheet. It has been a while since I have written those alien characters on paper. During my rushed review, I was practicing my writing on air. Hehehe! :p

After 2 hours, I was able to accomplished my exam. What the matter was, I found it to be a little bit easier that I anticipated. But I was wondering then if what I wrote in the sheets were the correct answers. I hope so...

Mid-afternoon, I met Dex at Rob's Place and took a late lunch. Afterwards, I requested him to accompany me to visit my dear university. Gosh! I missed everything like hell. I still have a lot of contacts there.

First stop was at the National Institute of Health. My dear college bud, Jeni works there and handles projects like me, though on a different field. We used to be colleagues in one of the medical unit of the College of Medicine. We ran down on personal and professional stuff. We have a lot of catching up...

Second stop was at dear Pahinungod! Goodness! I missed this place. It was a haven for me, a get-away when frustration and boredom strike my very being. I always find solace in this office. The people here are nice and friendly and warm. Honestly, Pahinungod build my character as an adult. It made me see and realize the good things in life, the good things in people, the value of everything.

I first saw my dear twin [we are look-alikes when we were in college], Lala. Well, it seemed like Dex knew the friend of Lala.

Jeanners, Yan-Yan and Angelo were there. Basically, they are the ones "running" this voluntary org. We caught up with the old times and brought back the good times. It wa really a great chance for me to see them again. Actually, we are planning to hook up with one another one of these days. I will make sure I will be arranging that....I'm so excited!

Third stop was at the Accounting Department. This place was where I had my brief stint as a student assistant. It was really nice to see everybody. I was overwhelmed by the way they welcomed me, with kisses and hugs. I really felt like I really belong there. Even though we rarely communicate, the warmth never fails to emanate from them. I really love these people. They have become a part of my life.

It was so great to have finally seen Ma'am Pinlac. I always missed seeing her everytime I dropped by at UP. Who can blame her? She is chief of the Accounting Department of my beloved university. It was so good to finally catch her in the office. We had a little but meaningful chat. She made me promise to visit again. Nothing can stop from doing so!

Fourth and last stop was at the blasted University Registrar. I was planning to get the original copy of my transcript of records which I have previously requested. The snobby, old man at the window said he cannot find it. He said that maybe I have some problems with my clearance and other papers. Man! I have graduated already. That was 3 years ago. I have been working for 3 years ago and I have requested 2 TORs already. Why do you keep on insisting that I have not graduated yet?! You are not supposed to be there if you cannot keep up with the demands of your work. That's not the first time you did that. I always see you doing that and I have the same experience with you a couple of years back. Goodness Gracious!!!

Dex have almost met the very good people in my life, the people I value and they have met him, too.

Saturday and Sunday was spent in a very unusual and relaxing way. I have been so wrapped up with the place and the things I usually do there that I never really get tired of visiting this great hide-away of mine.

Monday - nothing much to tell.

Tuesday, Jary and I finally met to have dinner. We were supposed to see each other Monday night but I have to postpone it that night due to work stuff. We rarely see each other unlike before. We used that time to catch up with the latest news and talk about serious stuff. Hmm...

Wednesday - hmm....

Anyway, I have to continue this later!

Ain't feeling so well...

I planned to update my blog at this moment but I am not feeling so good. My eyes are hurting from the light and my nose is almost bloody red from sneezing. I started feeling so uncomfy just this afternoon at the office. The weather inside was so blasted cold that it gave me a painful wisp of cold air. As I breathe deeply, my head started to throb...

Inspire...(2)

The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.

The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.

Inspire...(1)

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere" - Tim McGraw

Memorable Song

Next In Line
After Image

What has life to offer me
When i grow old
What's there to look forward to beyond the biting cold
'Coz they say it's difficult
Yes, stereotypical
You gotta be conventional,
You can't be so radical

Chorus:

So i sing this song to all of my age
For these are the questions
We've got to face
For in this cycle that we call life
We are the ones who are next in line.

Repeat 1st stanza

Chorus

We are next in line..
Oooh...Ohh..
We are next in line....
And we gotta work, we gotta feel,
let's open our eyes and do whatever it takes (2x)
Wooh..ooh..

Love and other mushy stuff...(1)

----- masarap talaga ang feeling ng IN LOVE...

lahat naman tayo naiinlab...

pero marami sa atin ang INFATUATED lang...

both LOVE and INFATUATION are sure to live as up to cloud 9...

pero MAG-KA-I-BA sila...suriin mo ang nararamdaman mo...

ang INFATUATION ay matinding paghanga...

it is an instant desire...

matindi ang iyong pagnanais na makasama ang isang tao...

samantala, ang PAG-IBIG ay tila nag-aalab na pagkakaibigan...

ika nga, it takes root and grows one day at a time...

kusa itong sumisibol...

hindi ito padalos-dalos o pabigla-bigla...

kapag ikaw ay INFATUATED, may feeling ka of insecurity...

hindi ka mapalagay...

oo nga at excited ka ngunit hindi ka totoong masaya...

sometimes, you doubt him/her...

sometimes you always ask but seems to find no answer...

may mga bagay din tungkol sa kanya na gusto mong malaman...

at pag hindi mo ito magustuhan,

like hindi mo pala gusto yung taste of clothes niya,

you'd feel very disappointed...

it might shatter the image you've built about him/her...

LOVE, on the other hand, understands...

it knows that your loved one has imperfections...

ito ang totoong pag-ibig...

binibigyan ka nito ng kalakasan...

you even feel his/her presence kahit na malayo siya...

distance is not a hindrance for your love not to grow...

you're sure he/she is with you in spirit...

of course, you want him/her near...

but near or far,

you know he/she loves you as much as you love him/her...

you can wait for him/her...no matter what...

when you're INFATUATED,

you tend to say that you want to get married as soon as time possible...

masasabi mo na," I can't afford to lose you!"....

samantala, when you're IN LOVE,

you don't rush into anything...

you' re patient...

you don't panic...

you plan your future carefully...

INFATUATION is smart with sexual excitement...

you want constant intimacy with him/her...

samantala, LOVE is a maturation of friendship...

it is always best to be friends first before becoming lovers...

pag INFATUATED ka,

iniisip mo na baka nagiging unfaithful na siya sa'yo...

LOVE is trusting the other person...

you know you can trust him/her...

and by feeling this way,

he/she even becomes more trustworthy...

dahil INFATUATED ka,

maaari kang makagawa ng mga bagay

na maaari mong mapagsisisihan in the end...

but with LOVE, you are sure of your every move...

maginhawa ang iyong pakiramdam...

you function well...

nagiging mas mabuti kang tao pag alam mo

na pag-ibig nga ang iyong nararamdaman...

think about it...

think about the difference between

LOVE a nd INFATUATION...

you know, GOD is NOT a killjoy in love affairs...

LOVE is HIS idea...

He wants you to enjoy the REAL THING!

but......you have to be WISE!

or else, you might MISS it out...

worse, you'll just break hearts

or find yourself singing,

"sinaktan mo ang puso ko..."

after all, you're not settling for second best, right?

Crepes @ Cafe Breton



A few hours ago, after office hours, I went straight to Glorietta.

First target: an ATM machine. The one I was with has to withdraw.

Second Target: Cafe Breton @ Greenbelt It was really a funny thing because we went around in circles. Sabi ko naman di ba, mahina ako sa directions?! Hehehe! =)

Finally, we were able to "land" our feet @ the classy Greenbelt area. As usual, the place was teeming with yuppies. Typical day. Most yuppies were lounged at the varied cozy and classy coffee bars.

As we head towards Cafe Breton, I saw a very familiar face at Starbucks. It was a college pal, Arthur. I do not think he ever saw me. He was with a colleague of his and most probably, waiting for somebody else. I will be texting him later, probably.

It was my first time @ Cafe Breton in Greenbelt. But I have already tried the other one in Podium. Well, the place at Greenbelt is not so diffferent at all. I still like the ambience.

Anyway, we had crepes. *yummy* Hehehe! =) Mine is yummier than what the other had ordered.

Oh well, I can tell this story some other time. I prefer to elaborate some other time.

By the way, thank you! =)


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@ the Dumps

I don't wanna miss a thing playing at the background...

Mood: not so happy, with a heavy heart

Somebody called me awhile ago, no, make it a few hours ago. At first, it was a light conversation, simple hi and hullos. But later on, it became a drag.

It hurts me to feel that he doesn't trust me. That I was showing and doing for him and for "us" was never enough. For once, I felt so inadequate.

I wish he would let his past go or not let it affect what we have now. What is important for me is now and the future. I never cared nor asked about what past other people had. What matters to me is the moment that we are sharing and will be sharing.

I also wish he can understand that I want to be with my friends, too. I wish he will let me spend some time with them. Whether they are mostly comprised by the opposite sex, I hope he can accept them as they are. I know my limitations and I wish he can trust me and my decisions.

I loved the attention, the treatment he had been showering me. I admit that that was one of the major reasons he caught my eye. I was never used to being treated like that. I do not let any male treat me like that. I always find myself being able to manage on my own.

But that's not enough. I still want to be "ME." I am a different person, alright. Far different from his past whatever, I am not the type of girl who will cling on to him, depend on him as always. I may have him but I can still stand on my own. Having him in my life does not necessarily mean that I am 2-legs-minus-one. I did not get into a relationship because I cannot be "ME" anymore.

I do consider his feelings, yes. As much as I wanted to, I do not want to hurt him. I never wanted to. But I just wish he will not be so overprotective, so jealous. I wish things will change.

Sum it all up: Everything was goin' too fast and I feel so hurt.

I WISH NOBODY WILL TELL HIM ABOUT THIS...

Current Musings @ Work...Goodbyes...

I was to blog on yesterday but I was too preoccupied. I was to narrate a lot of things but I did not find time to do so. I have seen lotsa things but I cannot even click on the Explorer icon since I have to accomplish some OUTSTANDING, SUPER-PENDING tasks.

Right now, I am supposed to have my head buried in these work piled high up on my desk since I will be on leave this Friday. Yipee! My immediate superior allowed me to go on leave. As usual, questions why. Hehehe! Typical chismozo! Hehehe! It was a light moment shared between us, him joking.

I only have till tomorrow to finish everything. On Friday, I have to take a diagnostic exam on my language class. *blast* I have not studied anything yet. I am damn sure I will not fare well in that evaluation if I do not study tonite and tomorrow. Sheesh!

*hmm* This black forest cake I am taking formy snack is creating an ominous havoc in my stomach. Well, I just can sense it. I hope the foreseen scenario will not happen, not now, not this very day.

While I am blogging right now, me and Jhoanne and our Gen. Affairs Director are having a slight discussion about a very sensitive topic. Our director ended the conversation with 2 points: 1- "No secrets are forever, they will always come out in the open" and 2- "What you don't know will not hurt you." I contemplated these statements with what-if thingies...*hmm*

Oops, I have to call this girl from Sommerset. Together with some colleagues, we will be dining for lunch at their place this coming Friday. I have to inform them I will not be able to join. Some other time, perhaps.

Last Friday, our office held a "despedida" party for one of our directors. He had already finished his 3-year stint here in Manila. It was a pity that I was absent that day due to an emergency at home. It was a good thing that this Monday, we had a final lunch-out with him @ the cozy Confusion. It was just us, local staff plus our female foreign director.

Since I was not around last Friday, he said he missed me in his party. I can really sense his sadness. I knew that he really does not want to go back home. He verbally said so. He had loved the Philippines, loved the Filipino culture. He had really adopted the Filipino way of life. I can really feel what he was feeling that time. It is really hard to leave something that you have your heart in.

That same night, before I left the office, I said my final goodbyes. Damn! I hate goodbyes talaga! I just said take care and goodbye. Those were the only words I uttered to him when I came by at his desk. I cannot prolong the conversation because I will be crying and make myself look like a fool. I hate seeing people go. They pull a certain tug in my heart, whether they are close to me or not. But he seemed to have a different thing in mind. He started talking how he will missed us; how he will long to see the Philippines again, the office. He thanked me profusely for being so accommodating and helpful during his early days at the office. I just told him that it is possible that we will be seeing each other again. There are chances to see and meet again.

My only wish for this man is to be happy with his life, family and working life at that. He had really worked hard here. He had contributed a lot in making the organization known amongst the local private sector and the media, especially.

He flew back early Tuesday morning. I wonder how he is feeling now? *hmm*


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Cozy Paseo Uno



Tuesday night, I had dinner together with our consultants and interpreter at the new Paseo Uno of the Mandarin Hotel. I really recommend this place 90% because of the ambience and the coziness it exudes. Your tastebuds will find the food to their liking. Yummy! I made my own salad, tasted the grilled oyster with butter sauce. I did not eat much since I already felt full seeing lots of food. Paseo Uno serves buffet style.

At a quarter before 9, Dex picked me up and brought me home. As usual, the trip back home was a hilarious one. We never run out of things to talk about and most often that not, we were laughing at each other's joke. Hehehe! =)


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Lost Hello!!

*hmm* I hope dear Tukayo's cellphone be returned soon. I talked to her the other day and she said she lost it somewhere. Sana mabait yung makakuha and return it to her. I texted her number and wished that if ever possible, to return it to the righful owner. Hope so...I still believe that there are still nice people around. =)


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Work...Work....

ok, I have to get back to work since I have to leave in a while. *hmm* So, they are still in the meeting, huh?! Good!

I'm almost LATE!!!

Alright, got to hit the shower! Later bloggie!

Black Mask by JetLi

I had this one edited so the one who commented on here had his comment deleted. Hehehe!

Burnt-out from Work

What a hot Monday mawning this is!

I wonder what is in store for me for this week?! *hmm* I was thinking yesterday as I posted at Pex if I should start polishing my resume. Call centers? PeopleSupport, Convergys and Sykes. In that order. I already got 4 college batchmates working at PeopleSupport. Margaux is encouraging me since {since the time I contacted her and planning to have a shift in career} to submit my resume. I am really so undecided about this thing. Oh, help me please.

I find no solace anymore in my work.

Whiling Time

So what have I been doin' since this mawning?

Well, I have been checking my emails, replying to them, updating my blog, trying out new things, posting @ Pex, surfing the Net, counterchecking my planner.

I was also bowsing my old sites which I partially did during my college days - the first time I got hooked up with the cyberworld.

I found this poem as a flash intro of one of my old sites.

I have a warm & friendly feeling
As I think of you today;
& I wish that we could visit,
But you`re many miles away.

Separated by such distance,
Yet our emails bring us near;
Through the miles we share a friendship
That has become to me most dear.

Friends through correspondence;
Still, your face I need not see
For your soul shines through the words
Every time you write to me.

You have a special way of writing,
Warming as the sunshine rays,
Bringing joy & inspiration,
Brightening up my days.

You have enriched my life, my dear one,
& I am glad GOD willed we meet,
FRIENDSHIP`S ROAD is that much nicer
Travelling it with one so sweet.

I missed my friends...

Looking for SELF...

Blogging on a mid-Sunday mawning!

I do not know why but when I browsed @ Pex, get an email from an old high school or college pal, I felt an overwhelming sadness. It is more of a longing I cannot seem to fathom. There is something inside me that wants to escape but for reasons I do not know, it seemed trapped. Am I missing something? Perhaps my individuality, my independence.

I am not getting bored nor being in the point of getting "sawa" in my current situation but as always, I need a certain balance in my life. The kind of balance that will put my life in a satisfactory mode. I have to rethink about the decisions I have made in the past few weeks of my life. I think I am going a little fast and missing the joys as I go along each day. I want to live my life the way I want it, as simple as happy as I can be.

I still want to do a lot of things before I becomes us. I still want to attain some goals I have set for myself. I still want to realize the things I promised myself I will accomplish once I have the time. Of course, people always say that a person always have the time. It is just plain time management.

As an independent being, a character that I, have honed myself into, I have crafted certain pathways of my life. Of course, destiny plays a role in everyone's life but I still believe that it is us that make our own destinies.

I am not trying to make a point here for anyone. I am trying to re-analyze the "self" that I am. I am wondering right now if it will be too much to ask. I am not yet ready and as I said, a little too fast for my taking.

I wanna take life as it is now. But I do not want to forego the simple things that makes me happy as an individual.

My only prayer is that to find where "self" really wants to be discovered.

I got this from dear Franz' site!


You are Professor X!

You are a very effective teacher, and you are very
committed to those who learn from you. You put
your all into everything you do, to some extent
because you fear failure more than anything
else. You are always seeking self-improvement,
even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Parang I cannot concentrate on my work. *hmm* I still have loads of things to do and I was planning to leave the office early to have some pictures developed. My boyfriend will be picking me up and I have to finish early. It will be a little embarassing if I have him waiting for me. You know what is so funny?! I still feel a little shy with him. I do not know why. But one thing I know is: I will stand true and will make everything in my power to let this relationship work. Before I met Dex, I was waiting for someone else. Someone whom I thought I will be sharing my life with in the future. Someone, who is a friend whom i thought will love me for what I am. I waited for him because I thought then that I will not be serious in any relationship again unless it is him. In fact, I was really looking forward to a possible, happy future with this guy. But I waited and waited...for nothing. It only caused me pain and tears and even frustration. He does not care for me as I have cared for him. They say that love endures. I know that. But what if you tried so hard to endure and in the end, nothing will ever come out of it? Won't that be so frustrating? As I have always said, better to "kill" that overwhelming emotion rather than letting it grow and have it devour you in whole. I was always told by someone to wait, even if it took me eons. I always answer back that patience was never a virtue of mine. Besides, how will one ever know if that person feels the same way about you? That he carries the burning flame as you do? That he cares for you the way you do? No guarantees.

Before I said yes to my current flame, I really thought about it a lot. For the first time, I gave time in thinking about my heart and the things that go with it. I do not want to have a new boyfriend and make him "panakip-butas." That will be so unfair for him. Honestly, I really weigh everything in my mind. As I have said before, having a relationship with someone was the least of my priorities and if ever someone comes along, I will make sure that I will do everything in my power to make it last.

Good Afternoon, blog!

Guess what?! My immediate superior is not around. He went hope coz he wasn't feeling so well. I was told that he has a headache. I was thinking if that headache is bothering him too much. Yesterday, we were in a series of meetings and when we were in the elevator, he asked me if I was tired. i said I was not, not a single bit. By the way, our meeting @ Bureau of Customs pushed through. My negotiation skills has not failed me yet. Hehehe!

I am still wondering what is happening to blogger. I hope everything will be fine here.

Back to work!

Just got back in the office from a meeting at the Tariff Commission. Siemai! I have to study more to fully comprehend everything about this tariff system. The thing is: everything are updates and modifications. Hay, juskufungfaynepol!!!

For lunch, I grabbed 2 slices of cold buko pie. *hmm* I hope I will not be having stomachaches later. Geesh! Not to day. By 2 pm, I have to leave again and go to the Manila area - Bureau of Customs - for another meeting. But then, something came up. There was a postponement of the schedule for this afternoon since the Commissioner and his Deputy had to rush to something important. I am still "negotiating" if probably the Chief of one of the Department can meet me and my superiors. As usual, tariff matters. I hope I can get the deal since this is the most significant agency relating to tariffs.

Oh well, I wonder if I have to come along with them tomorrow. Hoping not...but I think I wanna go. I want to ask about the current GSP status of some Philippine products. Ohmaygolay!


********

I was browsing some sites as a breather and this one suddenly popped out: You and Your Birthdate

It says something about your birthdate minus the birthyear:

Mine says I am:

Uncommonly attractive
vivacious
impulsive
demanding
does not care for criticism
ambitious
intelligent
talented
likes to play with its fate
can be egoistic
very reliable and trust-worthy
faithful and prudent lover
sometimes brains rule over heart
but takes partnership very serious.